Things to talk about with DH before the baby comes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Things to talk about with DH before the baby comes
5
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 11:29am

This is an interesting article that gives suggestions about things to talk about before the baby gets here. I think DH and I have covered most of the bases but there are some things that we need to re-visit again in a little while.  I think when it's your first child this is all new and it's a big change for all of us.  We still need to talk again about childcare. DH seemed to think we could wait until my maternity leave before we look for a provider and I assured him that it had to happen way earlier than that since most daycares have a waiting list for infants.  We also need to talk more about what my work schedule will end up being when I go back to work.  I work long hours and most daycares close before I get off work, plus I don't always get to leave on time.  I'm in a job where you leave when your work is done, not when the clock says it's time.  I'm sure we'll figure out a schedule that works and my job would probably be a little flexible with scheduling me on certain days that I am able to work a 12 hour shift.  I'm sure there are more things than what's on this list but it's a pretty good starting point.

http://www.ivillage.com/things-talk-husband-about-baby/6-b-477003

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2010
As terrible as it is to think about one thing my husband and I discussed before the baby was born was who we would want to take the baby and raise him if anything should ever happen to the both of us. I think this is an important conversation to have as soon as possible. Hopefully we would never need to have this plan in place, but here he is a month old and we still are not completely in agreement on who we would want to take our son and have not got any of it in legal writing yet. Start talking early on ladies!
Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
We aorta talked about that but we weren't in total agreement either. It definitely needs to be discussed.

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Registered: 01-21-2010
It is a terribly hard decision to make, mainly because we all think nobody can take care of our baby or raise them better than us. One huge issue for me with the people my husband wants to choose is that I do not completely agree with how they raise their own children, and we do not share the same moral and social values. There are certain things I want to teach my child that I know they would not be taught by my husband's choice.
Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
That's frustrating and I'm sure we will have to have an official discussion at some point. The person DH has chosen I'm more worried that she would have difficulties financially since she's not married and she's a single mom. Her BF lives with her but I'm not sure how serious they are. She's a great parent to her son and we hope we can parent like she does. I just worry about if she would have another child to care for and giving her that burden when she's a single mom technically. She's been DH's best friend for so long and we both love her dearly!

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Registered: 10-05-2005

That is a very interesting article, thanks for sharring it. My DH and I had discussed all of those things before getting pregnant, but that was a year ago and alot of circumstances have changed. The one thing we have not totally agreed on is DH wants me to pump often (starting in the first week after her birth) so he is able to share in feeding the baby and I think since I will be staying home for at least the first 3 months it will not be neccissary until later on. I guess I am also really lucky because he will agree with me on almost anything like the who will take care of our children if we both die. We both agree that as of right now we would want my mom to take her since she is financially stable and nothing major is going on in her life, well besides becomeing a grandmother. She is also really fit so she would be able to keep up with a toddler. We agreed long ago that the public education systems in our area have been going down hill and our children will go to private school (probably christian school) until at least high school. There are things that when they come up we will talk about, but why worry about stuff like sleep training or having a special needs child until it comes up.