vent my dh

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
vent my dh
2
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 4:12am

 hello everyone!! i have that wonderful pregnancy insomnia as you can see...i sleep maybe 5 hours a night...usually im up at this time tossing and turning...today im up because of that insomnia and because im ticked at my hubby. on saturday, i found out that a friend of mine and former boss-his mother had passed away. the funeral is today, the viewing was yesterday...i had to work throughout the whole viewing-it was 1-9, i worked 1230-9. and i have no way to get to the funeral...its about an hour away...i dont drive, wouldnt have access to a car anyway and im not going to be a burden on someone to take me and have to have them take me home later. plus i have to work at 6 and i know how these things can become long and again-i dont want to burden someone with me. so my dh was supposed to go yesterday, take our girls(cuz they are friends with his kids)and that was supposed to be the end of it. well, yesterday was my dhs fathers birthday. his father would have been 58...he passed away in january...they made plans to go out to the cemetary-my dh and inlaws...i figured okay after the cemetary, you go over to the funeral home...well, then my dh started talking about going to the rosary service at 630...fine, okay, whatever. i called him at 530-it rang 3 times, then he rejected the call-i figured he was already there....he picks me up from work last night and says i didnt make it to the funeral. his excuse was-they had this dinner at the church saturday night. a knights of columbus function...my dh is the deputy grand knight...apparently the guy who is in charge of the beverages needed to get his extra stuff and had to get it last night at 530. my dh couldnt tell him no, later, he had other plans, nope-he went right then and got him the stuff. then it was too late to go to the rosary...and he didnt even make it up there for any part of the service. i was ticked then and i still am...i dont think he had any intention of going to the service. he keeps saying "well they didnt come to my fathers funeral..." like that justifies it. my response to that is "and??" i asked him to go, cuz i couldnt...i wanted our family to be represented...but he didnt go because he didnt want to and he says to me"why couldnt you go??" well, hello, i was at work...i didnt have a choice-i liked the woman who passed away but i cant give up 8 hours to go to a viewing that is not a relative and from what i saw yesterday-i could have called in, missed bwork and then still probably wouldnt have made it up there cuz my dh would have been the ride there...his brother and sister tried to stick up for him too-his brothers like "he was tired from working the dinner the night before..." and his sister says "this is his day to relax....besides they didnt come to dads funeral..." they did nothing but make it worse and tick me off even more. i get it-im sure he was upset about yesterday being his dads birthday and all...but tough. it felt like he did this out of spite. he probably did too...my friend was married for many years...our family is actually pretty close to their whole family-at least, him, his wife and kids...well, its not wife anymore-its exwife-they split up. divorce was final back in march. whenever we would get together before the divorce, my dh and the wife would talk and me and the guy would talk. but ever since the divorce, its like my dh is scared that im going to go after the guy or something...yes, i find him attractive, yes hes a nice guy...but no i have no intention of sleeping with him. if theres a birthday party for one of the kids, my dh hems and haws about going...ive gone myself to 1 of them and he went to another one with me but acted like i was pulling teeth out of his head to get him to do it...now this. its not like it was a social call or a party-its something that should be done, to pay your respects...but he didnt do this for me for whatever reason. i feel a lil better but im still ticked...and when he gets up in about a half hour, i have to put on a happy face cuz dragging this out is going to stress me out even more and it wont change anything. thanks for listening...
joanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 10:19pm
I'm
Sorry :smileysad:

 

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Avatar for j8songrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 6:48am

I'm sorry you feel that DH didn't support you by going to the funeral since you were unable to attend. It sounds like he got caught up with a work thing that he couldn't get out of, though. While what DH said may be true about them not attending his father's funeral, it does not make up for the fact that a mutual friend's funeral was not represented by your family. Try to cut him a break, what's done is done. Plus, I think the added hormones just makes us pregnant women fume about things even more or get upset more easily. I know that's how I get. Maybe try to set up a play date/lunch date with the family. They probably didn't even you guys weren't there. There is so much going on with greetings and everything.

 

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