OT: Husband's depression (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
OT: Husband's depression (long)
8
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:11am

I had posted a while back either on this board or June's about considering leaving my husband. He's always had a horrible temper and is/was emotionally abusive. I knew what I was getting into when we got married and chose him for the good qualities I saw in him. There is a lot about him that is very admirable. However, since we found out about this surprise baby, and maybe a couple of months before that, he had started to slide. He withdrew ALL affection and never wanted to be around me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 11:17am

First of all I am so sorry you are still dealing with this kind of

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 4:45pm

You are seeing a therapist, and he is seeing a therapist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 5:42pm

I agree with Heather.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 7:12pm

I third the couples counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 7:22pm

(((HUGS)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 7:37pm
wow...thank you all so much. Right now, every day with him is a bad day. Every. Single. One. He forces himself to function at work and comes home and just tears into me, just for existing. He says he wants everything to work out and he's just lost, but he's so damn mean...I just dont know how much longer I can take it. I really feel like I'M about to crack, all because of him. I love my life otherwise, I feel blessed and fortunate and tend to always look in a positive direction. He is, hands down, the most miserable human being I have ever known. Its just hard because I remember who he WAS. Tonight he called me a crazy B and screamed at me to get over myself because I told him that I'd support him, but he can not treat me this way. Awesome. You all have such great insight and advice...I really appreciate it. I do think I need a counselor switch...although he seems to really "get" dh, he doesnt spend any time on my feelings at all. This is just such a bad time to make a serious decision, with the baby coming so soon. Dh has never been very supportive of me or my feelings, and right now he could care less how I feel (as he has told me many many times). I dont want to take my kids out of our home...but he won't leave, so if we separate, its going to have to go through court, and since I work for the county, I just really didnt want to go there. I'm just running out of patience and ability to stand this mess. Thank you all again, seriously.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 9:20pm
I remember your original pos. I am so sorry things are still difficult hun. I am glad therapy has started. My husband is often depressed and suffers with it a lot where he has CP and a while back when we were just friends I was there for him when he checked himself in to the hospital for being suicidal. DH will not take meds either. So it can be very frustrating. He is still slowly learning to open up to me so it can be a slow process. Just know we are all here for support and will do the best we can. I will pray for you and your husband.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 10:07am

Yes your therapist gets HIM but seems to be giving you little to work with, sorry to say.