BTDT Mamas- Mommy Guilt anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2012
BTDT Mamas- Mommy Guilt anyone?
Fri, 04-12-2013 - 1:43pm

Ok, lately I've been feeling quite alot of Mommy guilt because this is my second child. I'm feeling it from all sides. I feel like DD#1 wont get as much attention, that she'll start Kindergarten right after baby is born (and shes already going to be one of the youngest kids since she won't be 5 until after school starts, her bday is 9-19) So I feel like she should be getting lots of extra encouragement when she goes back. Plus DH is a teacher, so he'll be going back to work the week before she starts school, so it will already be an adjustment for me going from having the extra help etc, and I remember when she was an infant it was all a bit of a bljur!!! haha I don't want that to happen this time where I look back and don't remember her first few days of Kindergarten! Then on the other side, I'm feeling guilty that this baby girl will be born into a family who already has a beautiful, talkative, smart, attention getting little girl. I'm not saying I'm worried I'll love this one less, I'm just saying that when DD#1 was born she had ALL our attention. She was both DH and I's first baby and my mom's first grandchild, so she was/still is the center of attention all the time. And I'm feeling guilty that DD#2 won't get that time =( I keep trying to remind myself that I'm lucky enought to be a SAHM so while DD1 is at school DD2 will have all my attention, but you all know what its like when you have kids, even if they aren't with you, you spend the day worrying about them, cleaning up after them (even though they aren't there!!! haha) I guess the best way to put it is I'm feeling guilty that neither of my girls will be gettting the attention I feel they deserve... Although I an already tell DD1 is going to dote on her little sister and that will be a great experience for the new baby to have someone to grow up looking up to...

I'm sorry this got so LONG!!! If you're still reading this, thanks for sticking it out.

Any other mama's feeling this? BTDT moms of 2 or more, did you feel this when you were going from a family of 3 to a family of 4? How did it work out?


Not to mention the even more reduced time it will mean for us and our DH/SO's!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Fri, 04-12-2013 - 3:10pm

I can relate.  I'm also having #2 and think about how the 1-on-1 time with my DD will be more limited after he arrives. It makes me sad =(  I also think about how he won't ever get as much attention as she did.  Hopefully the joy they get from each other will over shadow any of that.  Some BTDT friends have advised me and my DH to make time dedicated to my DD when my DS arrives.  They say it will help with the transition for her.  Hopefully it goes smoothly for all of us!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 8:59pm
I've been feeling guilty since before I even got pregnant. I know DS is over the moon about getting a baby DS, but I feel so guilty. I'm seriously obsessed with DS and we do everything together... I'm scared I won't love this baby the same way I love DS... and then the other half of me is scared nobody will love this baby the way they love DS because he was the first. It's a lot to take in!!