Is this going to be an issue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Is this going to be an issue?
5
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 8:35pm

So we were NOT expecting this pregnancy, let me make that clear from the start. Anyway, my Bro and Sis-in law are also pregnant, planned, and it's their first. They told us in August . We got pg in September. She's about 10 weeks ahead of me right now.

Purely coincidental.

My Hubs seems to think that SIL will be mad because we are pregnant so close to their announcement. He thinks she'll see it as us trying to "steal her thunder." I thought he was crazy...I know I would be thrilled if the situation were reversed, but I checked out other sites today and it turns out that there are a ton of posts about this very issue and the SIL in almost EVERY case was pissed off.

So what do I do. Obviously there's nothing I can do about being pregnant now, but how would you handle this potentially sticky situation. I don't want to have to temper my enthusiasm because I don't want her to be mad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 9:25pm

If I were you (just my opinion, I'm sure whatever you do will be fine!) ... Tell her privately before you announce it to the family. Let her know it wasn't exactly planned, but that you're happy and excited about your blessing. If she acts jealous about you getting attention, try to ask her for advice. Maybe ask her what to expect at an appointment or when she heart a heartbeat first or something like that. She can't complain that you are upstaging her if you are asking her for help and motherly advice.

It will probably be a blessing having the kids so close in age. My cousin and I are 9 days apart. My sister and another cousin are a few weeks apart. It made holidays and summer camps and things so much more fun, because we had a built in family playmate. Plus, if you or her go for child number 2, there will be tons of handmedown clothes to share.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 10:55pm

I completely agree w/ PP. Tell her privately, and explain the situation! If it was me, I would be beyond thrilled to have someone to go through this with!!

   


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 5:38am
Gosh what a pickle! The way I see it if she's going to get upset she will no matter how you go about it. I would just do it how I wanted :P is that mean of me?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 6:19pm

LOL, that's EXACTLY what my bestie said! We are going to tell them ahead of time but only a few days before.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 6:06am
Thats probably a good idea :) Im just a mean cow i guess :P
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