Fight w DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Fight w DH
4
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:02am

This is embarrassing. We had a fight over whether computer games are good for kids or not. I was yelled at out in public, started crying, did not want to get in the car to go home but had to because we had to relieve someone watching the kids. We continued to fight on the way home. I feel so humiliated.

I started that discussion because I am concerned about computer games, I think the boys (4.5 and 6) are still too young for them, even the age-appropriate ones, and our K teacher strongly opposes them. I think it's better to teach math and spelling by traditional methods but nothing, no book, no parent interaction, nothing can compete with Angry Birds. :) I felt DH is making a unilateral decision to let the kids play, and I wanted to talk to him, out of kids' earshot, about having to discuss the issue and agree between us first. I did not say no, I just said I have never read anything saying that games are good for kids, let's research it further, let's talk... he got defensive and it ended up with an ugly public scene.

Well, later that same day the kids started asking to play the game, and it was their time to eat and go outside. I wanted to negotiate with them that they at least play after we do all that, when it's dark outside and we can't go walking. But again, no activity can compete with an iPad, and I can't win over when there are 3 of them (2 boys and DH). Besides, now I am "bad" for not letting them play. I gave up. But the point is, the game is interfering with the kids' routine now. So we fought again.

He did say "I love you" later, I guess it's tough for guys to say "sorry". Maybe he is not sorry after all, LOL.

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Registered: 02-06-2008
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 8:03am

I'm sorry! =( its tough... i know my DH and I don't see eye to eye about some parenting things. I know both DH and I tend to get very defensive of our specific point so sometimes its hard to see the middle ground compromise. We went through a lot of headbutting in DSs first year of life because of it! Maybe you need to sit down with him when hes a bit calmer and talk about how you talk... figure out what is setting of him being so defensive. DH and I did that and since then our discussions have bene MUCH more productive. Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 11:57am

Thank you for your response! And everybody: sorry I threw it out in the open. Maybe it's my pg hormones that are getting the best of me.

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Avatar for dani_d
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Registered: 04-03-1998
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 7:22pm

OH boy....can I relate to this! I have an almost 5 and almost 7 yo and they LOOOOOOOVE Angry Birds. My husband just got his own touch pad and he's hooked on all kinds of things on there. It really irks me some days. We do limit the time the LO's spend on there..the same way we limit many other things for them. Thankfully my husband won't allow them to play if I say no.

You probably just need to sit down and make some kind of compromise on when the kids can and can't play games. Tell him you need to make these decisions together and that LO's really need to get exercise, play, read, and just be more active in general. Maybe set aside a day in the week where there is to be NO techy stuff...just days where you go outside, read together, play board games, etc. Technology is all well and good...but there are some days when I hate it. :/

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 10:24am
That is great you guys talked it out! Technology and kids scare me a little, I don't want an introverted overweight child who only knows how to interact in fantasy..