When people at your job make you cry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
When people at your job make you cry!
6
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 7:10pm

This isn't pregnancy related, but as a pregnant person, it really affects me deeply. This is a big rant.

I'm a martial arts instructor. I LOVE kids and I assist with all kinds. I'm only a level one which is a teacher's assistant, but I still sometimes get a small group of beginners to work with under the supervision of a higher instructor. I teach anywhere from 6-12 year olds with all different disabilities, physical and mental, and though it's hard and I can get a frustrated, at the end of the day, I LOVE what I do.

Two of the other instructors (one of them being the owner!) are currently having a competition between the two school about which school has the most *ahem* f----tarded white belts. It absolutely CRUSHED me to heard them talk about these kids like that when some of them actually do have problems. Especially since I'm pregnant, and my child has a chance of beign one of these kids, I get to thinking 'they would be saying the same thing about my kid if it were born and old enough to be in this program.' Me and DH are very professional and love what we do and don't believe in talking bad about these kids. They laugh about it, to me it's NOT funny. They even treat the students with disrespect, rolling their eyes and just throwing their hands up in the air, giving up, like they're a bunch of babies.

I went home crying, how can people be so cruel? Why is it a good person like me can't work there when that is really my dream and passion. I love these kids and every time I look at them, I know they're getting crapped talked about them and are treated so badley. It makes me worry about my child's involvment with ANYTHING!

Are there any others that work with children? Is this acceptable ways to treat students? If you knew something like this was going on and only 3 of the total 7 instructors actually cared, would you still take your child/children there for the sake of those 3 do-gooders? We are the ones holding the school up, including me, and I don't get paid, or praise, for doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 1:22am
I would quit. There is no way I want to even associate with people who talk about others with disabilities that way. If I hear someone call another that word, I blow up. My nephew has downs and if anyone, I mean anyone calls him that to hurt him, I will kill them. (ok ok I really will not but...) Truly, them saying that to children like that is curshing them to the point of killing their confidence, their self-esteem. That is absolutly horrible! I wish you luck in what ever you do but if you dont quit, I would say something.

People at my work now know not to say that word. When I started working here they would say it and I would yell. "Well, I dont mean it that way!" Doesnt matter. Dont say it.
Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 7:39am

First of all,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2008
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 8:52am

Oh wow... i'm SO SO sorry you are stuck int hat position. It peeves me when I hear about people laughing and making fun of kids with special needs. good for you for working with them!!

It sounds like what the instructors need is some sensitivity training... i bet they haven't really sat down and let themselves interact with the kids much, they leave that to others. If it wasn't the owner who was making comments i'd say go to him, but sadly i don't think it'll make any difference what so ever. Like others said, it may be time to start looking into other programs in the area that maybe would allow you to work with the kids still in a better enviroment!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 11:14am
Thanks for the responses, I'm glad there's people out there that also see what I see.

I would love to leave, I'm not bound there in any way. Problem is, when you're one of the few that care, its hard to just leave them there will bad instructors. I find it great that I can deliver such a good education of art and culture to these kids.

My pregnancy doesn't affect my standing in this situation, it just hurts even more. Some of these students don't even have a disability, they're just young! Not all kids pay attention as well as others.

DH does plan on opening up a school. Right now he is bound by contract. We are part of a large franchise, and we like being in the franchise. There's no other schools around that are...good. They're values are different than what we (we as in the franchise) teach. DH and I do plan on studying at taekwondo college in Korea and then comibg back here to open a safe school. Its more than just getting students. You need to keep them, and the only way to do that is to be a great teacher.

If I could leave without feeling hurt for my students I would. I have told the girl something in the past, so she just switched to the other school we own. Said I was trying to boss her around. Pfft no, I've just been doing this longer than you!

I will not take that treatment anymore. You attack my students, I attack you. SUPER ANGRY PREGNANT MOM!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 10:28am

I am sorry that you have to work with these people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 12:25pm
Lesley- yeah, it just sucks that I never had training working with kids, especually ones with disabilities, but I was thrown ibto it and surprisingly, I did well. I guess I have that natural patience.

We had a new 10 year old join the classes and I have been sent to work with him every day, but one, he was there. His little face just lights up everytime he sees me and he always leaves smiling. He has no disabilities, just a kid. After that I sit there and think how can THEY think this kid is 'retarded' when he's doing better than the higher ranks.

That's when I just shake my head, shrug it off, and move onto my next students. I love them too much to let them leave the school lol