Have you decided who will be present at the birth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2011
Have you decided who will be present at the birth?
11
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 2:17pm

It might be a little early to ask this question, but it is something I have been thinking about.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003

Hopefully just a midwife :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2011
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 11:49am
DH will be there. My mom will probably be there. One of my sisters may be there. For my first it was just DH. He told me later he was bummed when my mom left because she was so calm. So we invited mom and my sisters to the second birth. One sister is a nurse. My dad watched my oldest and since I went into labor on a Friday night, it worked beautifully.

Now my sisters have both moved. One is only an hour away, so she may come back as she is about as excited as I am. The other is likely to come home as soon as she can, but its trickier for her.

Thankfully, mil will not come down and would not be comfortable in the delivery room. She didn't even attend the births of her daughters sons.

Post partum mil stuff is different. She likes to come and help take care of the baby. I can't stand this and tend to hide because I take care of my babies. She can clean, cook or play with the older kids. She doesn't want to do that. She wants to hold my baby while I take care of other stuff. She likes babies but is less interested in older kids. I'll hide and let my 6 year old follow her around the house. I'll let her be insulation this time...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Just DH!! I was unconfortable having the nurses watch the baby come out... I mean, come on! Do you really have to watch me poo?!? I agree, there really is nothing 'beautiful' about birth. The miricle is amazing but there is so much nastiness that comes out... I dont think so! It would just be odd for me to have my mom or MIL there... I wouldnt even have a sister in there.
Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
It will be just DH, and my friend/photographer like my last (first) labor and delivery. Everyone else waited outside. My MIL lives several states away, so we're thinking about having both Dh's parents fly out here right before I deliver this one. We need someone home to watch our son. If you think your first birth is hard to figure out, just wait until you need someone to take care of your other lo. I love your idea of the intimate family setting. A local hospital here has 2 hours of family time before guests can even enter the room. It's mandatory for the bonding of baby with mama. If both your mom and MIL understand, I say go for what you feel inside!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009

LOL well my MIL has a baby room in her house for my SIL because she felt the need to have adult time EVERY WEEKEND and it didn't include getting up Sunday mornings to look after her son..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009

Oh! And I agree with PP. I would let DH breaks the news.. Maybe a little closer to your due date? Hopefully once your MIL sees your belly, she will start to relinquish control. Mine did, but I had to fight her tooth and nail for it- she wanted to have a full nursery in HER HOUSE!!!!

Health & Happiness! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009

DH only. :-) Last birth was a home water birth, and I preferred him to let me do my thing (any additional person in the room distracts me) and then see the baby. I've never felt comfortable with him "catching" the baby, or him seeing my lady parts like that. Read too many stories about it traumatizing the husband. So, for the hospital, he stayed by my head, and at home, he hovered outside the room. I really preferred birthing alone (for the pushing part at least).

Health & Happiness! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Wed, 10-05-2011 - 12:20pm

I hadn't thought about it, but likely it will be just like with my last DS. I have a c-section scheduled, so it will only be me and DH allowed in the room, but family will be allowed too see the baby in the nursery, and visit with me after my meds wear off later in the day. Which is just fine by me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011

Sorry to hear you're in that situation :( I feel your pain of having to tell MIL to back off and give us some space. I love her to death, but she's always complaining how I stay with my parents instead of her when we go visit down south. Uh, maybe that's because when I'm at my parent's house, I have privacy, I like our customs (preggo gal doesn't have to do a darn thing!), and my mom is an OB nurse and my hospital is down the road, I think I feel much more safe at their house. I also have a larger family to visit (DH's family doesn't get together, and most of them are in another country). She also wants to 'move in' with us for a while so that I can take care of baby and she can do the housework. Uh, thank? But no thanks, we can handle it, it's not impossible, how will I every learn to take care of myself? Not that I reject all help, but seriously, don't have to move in with me!

It will ONLY be my mom and my DH. Sorry I don't want an audience to watch my baby come out of my hoohaa, not exactly 'beautiful' and I don't want everyone to know THAT much about me. If they're offended, too bad, I'M the one that needs to feel comfortable, I don't really care about everyone else at that moment. It's about me and my baby, not me, my baby, aunty, uncle, SIL, cousin, grandma, etc. I love my family to death, but they can wait a couple of hours to see the baby, I've been waiting 9 months! I want my mom in there because if not, I feel like I have no idea whats going on, I feel like I have no control, and DH needs to be there because...well...for obvious reasons :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009

Sounds like you have a lot of tough conversations coming up!

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