Scared to death of what's to come

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Scared to death of what's to come
16
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 7:03pm

Regardless if my birth is vaginal or section, I am super scared. My anxiety is through the roof right now, I guess because that day just keeps coming closer and closer. It's like standing in line for a ride on a roller coaster, you know in the end it's fun, but in the meantime you're scared to death of it!

I have never been admitted to a hospital. I do not have a fear of hospitals, I've been exposed to them all my life, but in a different light. I went to visit, pick up mom's check from work, visit mom at work, see my pediatrician (once before he moved out of the hospital and into his own office), and now recently to see my OBGYN. Going to the lab for them to take my blood was perhaps the worst thing I have ever encountered so far besides getting my shots (1. I hate needles 2. I like my blood in my body thankyou!)

Then came my doctor's predictions that I will more than likely be a C/S if my baby is over 5 lbs, just because I'm so small and I'll more than likely get serious tears or injure myself or the baby because my pelvic bones will not stretch enough (doctor did NOT tell me this to scare me away from a natural birth. I'm on Team Get the baby out!) So now I deal with surgery.

I do not think any amount of drugs will prepare me for either delivery method. I literally pale at the thought of beign sliced open, stitches, needles, and (UGH) catheters. (Nothing against natural home births, but I just don't feel safe doing one, so it's not even close to being an option)

Anyone else share hospital anxiety? I think I just need to hear less horror stories revolving around births, maybe that's ease my nerves? I was alright after giving my blood samples, I could probably do it again with less anxiety, hopefully once I get through this experience, I'll man up and finally fly on an airplane LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 10:29am
I get that but at the same time, even a 'birthing hipped woman' like me could end up with a c/s for many causes... baby could be breach, baby could be in distress and have hr trouble... you know the possibilities having your Mom as a nurse so not sure why your doc would still say that... But, every woman is different! She may not have been able to do it and you can! :)
Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 12:03am

Thanks for the encouragement guys :) It really helps get my mind back on track.

My doctor didn't say it was 100% that I would have a c/s if the baby is more than 5lbs, he just wants me to be prepared in case something were to happen and I would be unable to have it naturally. I have no problem, get the baby out is my goal, no matter which way you do it :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 8:53am
I can't stand needles. I pass out if I see people's insides coming out. I had breast augmentation surgery at 21, so that was my first time having anything done. That, along with my delivery last year were both tied to something exciting. There was total fear but the overwhelming sense that I was getting something I wanted when it was over. With lab work and other strange hospital things, you don't exactly get rewarded when you're done. I'm not going to share negative details, but I have big hips and thought it would help me during delivery. Turns out, the baby's head size was the ultimate factor. My son had a giant head. 95th percentile. Damage was caused. My friend's daughter's head was 40th percentile. She practically fell out with no indication a baby had just traveled through her vagina. I'm having a girl this time and she's measuring small. The women in my family are born with smaller heads, so I'm already feeling better. Once you're in the hospital, the adrenaline rush will kick in and making things better. It's just a matter of getting your mind in the right space before March.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 8:30am
I would agree Ashley, dont listen to any bad stories!!! It always bothers me when people say that the baby was too big or the mom was too small. You were MADE to have children. YOU CAN DO IT! If you can't its really no big deal. As for the pain, well, this is my second child so if it was as bad as you think it will be, there is no way I'd come back for more!!! It sucked, no way around that but not to the point that I would never do it again (again, I'm pregnant, duh! ;)) Anyway, I hope that your doctor was telling you that just in preperation that a c/s might come but really bigger than 5 lbs?!?!? That is tiny!!! I have a friend who is only 4'9. She delivered a 6lb 5oz baby just fine, very minimal tearing. Just ignore all the bad talk and know that you were made to do this, you can and will do it. Just have faith!!!!
Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 11:08am
Thanks ladies for the much needes positive vibes. DH and I spent most of our night watching different procedures. I had never really watched a birth (was always curious, knew what went on, but never actually saw it in action) DH thought it was coolest thing on the planet, I'm sitting there like OMG.

I do get my 'get it over with' rushes. Like when I go to get shots or give blood samples, they see me and they're like 'are you ok?' And I'm like, shut up and just stick me, I'll live.

The good news is I'm getting suite room at the hospital, awww yeeeah! Lol *toospoiledrottenbymom*
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 9:40am

I had a CS with DS #1 and it was scary only because I didn't know what to expect.

With DS #2 I knew, and I was ok the whole pregnancy, but once I got on the table in the OR, I started crying because I felt overwhelmed.

But once it was over and I got to hold my baby, everything was fine. I really don't even remember that much about it, they did the epidural and it was early in the AM!

But once the epidural wore off, I didn't even need more than a Tylenol, and my baby was perfect. It's ok to be scared and nervous, but everything will be fine once you hold your baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2008
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 7:52am

Oh DS had an IV when he was born and they taped it up like that! You could get a large mitten to stick over it too... and by the way an IV is just a thin cathodor tube left in thats why you can't feel it =) Honestly the first time I had an IV it freaked me out too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2008
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 7:49am

You've gotten lots of great advice already, but i can totally understand the anxiety related to hospitals as I am the exact same way. I hate it... i've only had a few medical procedures done and needless to say when it came time to an induction with DS i was nervous as anything!

Best advice is to block out negative or bad vibes and stories... try and focus on positive things and read about positive birth stories! There are lots of people who post really great birth stories online, both c-section and vaginal. Have you thought about watching a movie like the buisness of being born? Its really good to watch to see how birth occurs and while it does focus a lot on the differance between hospital and home birth it really gives you a good idea of what birth is like and can be like and its not negative, its all very positive!

have you thought about looking into some relaxation techniques such as hypnobirthing? You don't have to take a class, you can order DVDs or CDs online and do it that way.

Try not to think about the scary parts... while a c-section recovery is difficult for some, others have great experiences. I ahve a friend who had a planned c-section and was doing gentle slow jogging at home at 2 weeks post partum!

And, as my coworker always says, labor is only a day of your life ... while it'll be painful its not forever and at the end you ge your beautiful baby... and it can't be that bad because some women do it 20 times1 ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 7:09am
I was like you i had never been admitted to the hospital b4 having kids, i had had some minor in office procedures and stuff but that was it. It's totally normal to feel the way you do. I remember having an epiphany one day and thinking OMG a baby is going to come out of me, ahhhh! Most hospitals offer tours and you may get a chance to talk to the nurses there, also most offer 4 to 6 week birthing classes and they will tell you most of what to expect. I have had 2 sections and if you want i can give you a run down of what to expect before, during and after a c-section. Let me know.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 10:35pm

HAHA, I just got the funniest mental image of me with that big cardboard glove they make over my hand. They use it on children and older people that will try and pull the IV out. Two pieces of cardboard are on either side of the hand and they just tape it. It always looked funny to me :P They might just have to do that though, I like the idea of me not seeing it.

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