SAHM - Vent
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|Wed, 09-19-2012 - 9:24pm|
Ok, so I know mum's who have to or who choose to go back to work get a bit of a raw deal quite often from quite a lot of people.
But I made the choice to be a SAHM. Not an easy choice btw. It meant less money for the family, more day to day mummy stress and many days where I feel like I'd just love to have an adult conversation. Not to mention that my job skills are going stale and i'll have to retrain eventually in the future.
BUT, it was a choice I made, with the support and input of my husband, willingly and happily. So why is it I am being made to feel guilty for being a SAHM? People say "what do you do?" My reply of "I'm a SAHM" has started to sound derogetory when it comes out of my mouth. Or maybe it's just the dissapointed look in the eyes of the person I speak to. I don't know, but I feel like it is a put down. "She's a SAHM", "She just keeps house and looks after the kids."
Why am I being made to feel this way? And why is it mostly coming from mums that work outside the home? I get that they have had a lot of negativity aimed at them, But surely the soloution is not to gang up on those that choose to SAH. I've had two people say to me, (both mum's who work full time outside the home) "caring for my child/children all day every day is just so boring, I have so many better things to do with my life." What about my choice, is raising my children a waste of my time? I know my answer to that, of course it is not! But then why am I being made to feel like it is a waste?
I support the rights of a woman and her husband or SO to make the choices as to who will have care of the children day to day. There are many different soloutions to this. SAH Dads, Part time work for each parent, live in Nannys, Grandparents or other family who look after the kids, Mum's who work only school hours....I'm sure there are litteraly hundreds of options. And as long as children are in a happy and healthy environment than I think that is the most important part covered. Isn't that what this should be about?
But why is it that I, who made the most "traditional" and perhaps old fashioned choice of raising my family, is being penalised? Picked on? Put down? Ignored? Made to feel like a second rate citizen?
This is seriously turning into another breastfeeding vs. formula debate. Anyone who has been part of that debate knows how heated that can get. That is a board I love to go visit just to watch the fur fly.
Can't I just be given the respect I deserve as a woman who raises her children full time and works her butt off to support her husband in his work endevors? It's not "the easy way out". Its not a lazy way of life, that's for sure! And it's not cause I'm uneducated or had no career previously. My education level is higher than my husbands and my ability to earn is at least as good if not better than DH's. My DH isn't the breaswinner cause my DH makes a ton of money either. Extra money would never go astray but we live a life within a budget that allows us all our basics, a few nice treats and the ability to keep out head above water.
I just don't get how people can be so cruel.
Anyone else out there feeling the pressure to return to work for no other reason than to fit in with everyone else's expectations? Anyone have any way of dealing with this?