Very Frustrated with my Dad!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Very Frustrated with my Dad!!
1
Thu, 10-25-2012 - 1:27am

So I am almost 19 weeks, due March 26/13.  This pregnancy is a welcomed event, as the last 10 years of my life have been pretty rocky and I am just so grateful something this wonderful is actually happening in my life. Well my bf's mom is flying out around the time the baby is born via c-section. Basically to help out and show me the ropes, as my own mother passed away 10 years ago when I was 15. (we live on the opposite side of the country) We assumed my dad would fly out as well, seeing as I am an only child, he is the only parent I have left and we most likely will only be having just one baby, and my being pregnant probably wont happen again. However every time I talk to him, which generally is once a week he just says "I can't promise anything", "I'll see what I can do", or "I don't know If I'll be coming out". And this is without me mentioning anything about him coming out, he just randomly says it. Sometimes I ask about it, as we expect him to, it seems atrocious to us that he wouldn't make the effort to meet his quite possibly one and only grand child from his one and only child. But his responses just puts forth the message that he doesn't have the interest or he doesn't care enough/can't be bothered to come out here. I ignore what he says usually and just respond with "well the longer you wait to buy tickets the more expensive they'll be" which in our case is true, as we live in Whistler and flights to Vancouver for all of March are quite expensive the closer you wait to buy them, since the whole month of March is March break since it varies by province and state, and Whistler is a resort municipality. At this time the prices are quite reasonable however.

Anyways I am super frustrated with him and I don't know why he just doesn't seem interested in coming out. Its embarassing to have to tell people who assume he is coming out that he may not be. Plus it's insulting and hurtful, sort of makes me feel like I don't matter enough for him to spend the time and money to come out and see the baby. This is a huge, life changing event, its not like my bf and I got engaged or something (were common law and may not even get married, as we don't feel its necessary this day in age). A birth is just as huge as a death, and I am sure if one of us died he would fly out in a second (at least I assume he would, but I guess can't assume with him anymore) Whats up with him?? I just don't understand his thinking. He talks about it being too expensive however the tickets now if he buys them are cheap! He has a job too, plus he does have like 5/6 months to save if he doesn't buy them now. To me there is no excuse and he needs to find a way to make it happen! Its bad enough I won't have my mom here for when the baby is born, but to have no parents and no one from my family is incredibly hurtful and makes me feel alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2004
Thu, 10-25-2012 - 9:59pm

I'm so sorry.  (((Hugs)))  I hope your dad comes around and sees how important this is to you.  

You should come join us on FB.  There are about 9 of us there right now, and it is so much better.  Here is the link:  http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/march2013ec/    Alot of the women there have given up the board, so you may be able to get some great advice on the page.  If you have a hard time getting the link to work, add me  as a friend, and I'll invite you to the group if you want.  :)  Hope to see you there! 

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