How did your relationship change after you got married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2012
How did your relationship change after you got married?
8
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 10:08pm
My husband and I just got married on 2/21 and so far it hasn't been like I thought really...i think its because of other stress going on in our lives....but anyway....did things change when you got married...if so, how??
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
We have been married 10 years. Your gonna have the highs and lows. Days when you love em and days you want to kill em:) love conquers all. When we first got married a month later we moved 3000 miles away. Ended up being super hard on me moving away from all my support. Needless to say we moved back. We are so super happy to at our 10 year anniversary to be ttc and now PG!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2012
Not sure much changed for us - we wiil be togethor 16 yrs this summer (11married, 5 dating - 3 of which we lived togethor). I think the only change was that we kicked out our boarders from our house, adopted a dog, and started talking about starting our family. Like j_olene said its a love hate relationship but I wouldn't change it for the world!
Proud Mom to Annika (4), Jamie (3), and 4 angels. Anxiously awaiting Baby #3!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2012
Our relationship has never changed. We're not married. We've both been down that road before. He came out of his with two kids. I came out if mine 4 months after the big day swearing I'll never marry again. He cheated on me.
I call DH my husband; he calls me his wife; we've been together for 6 years; we're happy; why change it?
Jen
Wife to Steve
Mommy to Chase (5) and Jasper (1)
Step Mom to Elizabeth (12) and Christian (10) pregnant
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2012
It actually changed quite a bit for us. We didn't live together until we were married. (it was in my divorce decree that neither of us for cohabitate with a member of the opposite sex)
We were married Feb 20 of last year. Then Feb 25th we left for a 2 week honeymoon to Europe (it was SO hard being away from DS for that long!!). We got SO sick of each other during that time! Haha!! We made it perfectly fine for the one week in Ireland, but by the time we were in London, we were both so wore out! We wanted a little 'alone' time without being in the constant present of someone else!) We finally made it back in one piece and decided that a one week vacation is all we need in the future! haha!

A month after we got back from the honeymoon, we were settling into living together pretty well. We were learning each other's weird home behaviours (like him blowing his nose into his hands while in the shower....YUCK!!! Grosses me out so much!!), we celebrated DS's 3rd birthday and had a party with both of our families over....so we saw how each handled that. He is not a social person at all, so I had to carry all of the conversations.

Then on April 16, THE day happened.... we went to a minor league baseball game with DS and niece. There was one of those huge two story inflatable slides there. The kids wanted to go, so we obliged. DS and I went down (him between my legs), and halfway down, my foot caught and twisted and bent backwards, and BROKE! I ended up leaving in an ambulance, having MRIs, had surgery to put in three screws, physical therapy, another surgery to remove the screws after the bones had set back into place, more physical therapy, and lots and lots of pain and stress for both of us! He had only had about a month of living with DS before he had to basically take over as a single parent since I couldn't walk. He did amazing...and I didn't! He handled it much better than I would have if the roles would have been switched!

Once I was finally walking again (September), we find out that he would be getting laid off in about 8 months. The job search started, and he received an awesome opportunity in Seattle...2,000 miles away from our Tulsa OK home. Making that decision was HARD. His family was very supportive, but mine wasn't. They made me feel like absolute sh*t for even thinking of moving DS away from all of his family. It was so emotionally hard on me and put a huge strain on our relationship b/c DH wasn't comforting me enough and making me feel like the move would be the best thing for our little family. I was in turmoil. My heart and head and body hurt all over.

We went through with the move, and here we are 3 months later. Our first year of marriage was hard! We had so many things happen that have never happened before in my life! But, we talk about how if we can get through the broken foot and cross country move, that we should be able to get through anything!!!


Wow....that was a long post!! But, since being here in Seattle, I haven't made any friends so I turn to my online friends. I have several friends on FB that I met in the IV March 2008 expecting group. I hope to make the same kind of friendships here!


P.S. Congrats on the marriage and honeymoon baby! Ours will be an anniversary baby!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009

I think it changed a lot for us! I love DH with all my heart but lately he drives me nuts! We have been together almost 5 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2005

Not much has changed for us, but I have only been married about a month longer than you have, so I know more is to come.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2012

I think like I said, most of our issue is other stresses we have in life right now. We are going through a medical malpractice case, and we just discovered a couple weeks ago that our lawyer hasnt been completely honest with us about a lot of things to do with our case. So we have been looking for a new lawyer. As if that isnt bad enough.... we have also recently found out that the hospital had changed the medical records... but luckely another docotrs has things in his reacords to prove the hospital is lying. Basically its a big fat stressful mess!! So we have been arguing more than usual. Also, I guess I should add in that I have borderline personality disorder, its an emotional disorder. I have leared to keep it in check most of the time, but sometimes it is really easy for me to feel rejected and unwanted... I see a therapist to keep working on it... even though I know the feelings I have sometimes arent the right feelings to have...its still hurts.. so I know that plays a part in it too...even though DH understands that part of it.

I guess on an upside... finding out we were having a new baby has helped us a lot! We are back to being close like we use to be most of the time!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009

Thats good I am happy for you. Being married is stressful but no one said it was gonna be easy. I think

Photobucket THANKS TO Bab