Unplanned BFP

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Unplanned BFP
9
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 3:48pm

Hi everyone,

My name is Steffie, I'm 28, and already the mom to an almost 3 year old girl (her birthday is in April) and a 4 year old boy (birthday in September).

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2012
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 10:46am
Baby's are blessings <3 People will always have something to say --- Congrats mama!
Jennifer Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 10:05pm
This is also not the right time for me as well. I was on Lo-Ovral 28 but didn't know it was recalled and here I am! I am also pro life and it goes against my moral being and beliefs to have an abortion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 4:13pm

Hi Steffie!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 8:38pm

Niomi,

Thanks for your openess too!

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2012
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 5:26pm
Hi Steffie

I appreciate your openness. I had a similar discussion with my mom this morning, as this is #3 for me and #3 father. I am 32, will be 33 in September. I was married twice and have one child with each ex husband. *sigh... My first ex has nothing to do with my son, and my second ex, well we share 50/50 custody. My second ex and I split last summer, and a lot of people (work, etc) didn't even know we split, so now I am having a hard time in explaining that I am pregnant oh by the way it isn't with my "husband" because we divorced already. *sigh..
I am in a committed relationship and I am even willing to try marriage for the final time. Well I wanted to explain a little bit, so you know that you are not alone.

I discussed with my mom this morning how I don't want to be judged, that I didn't set out to be married potentially 3x, nor have 3 different fathers. My reminded me that there will always be negative people in our life, and if I am happy and this is what I want then I should not anyone take this precious time away from me. Okay, so it isn't a text book life...but its my life, and I as I am sure with you is a great mom with a lot of life ahead of us. Try not to rob yourself of this time worrying about what others are going to think about your personal life. I am always here to lend a ear...
-Niomi Proud Mommy of Isaiah (5), Alexandria (3) and Expecting 11/2/2012 pregnancy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 12:58pm
You're not disrespecting anyone with your post. I can't imagine the mixture of feelings you're going through right now and I wish I could reach right through the screen and give you a hug. Have you thought about counseling? There are actually some non-profits that offer counseling for women who are going through tough decisions or circumstances, just like you are. I'm suggesting because a counselor would be independent and non- partial, unlike relatives and friends. It might help a little. There's one that offers help for free in my area, called Life Choices, so I'm sure wherever you are, there may be a group that helps out women for free. The one here even offers free ultrasounds.
Lilypie Maternity tickers
Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 8:12am
Hi Steffie,

Welcome to the board and congrats on your big surprise pregnancy! I really hope that you find friendship and support here during your pregnancy journey. Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 7:46am
Thanks Rachel, your reply means a lot. I realized that my post seems very negative, but it's true that I am somewhat excited and pleased with the pregnancy (like I said in my original post I did want to expand my family). With the circumstances it's hard to feel that way 100% of the time, though. I'm sure a lot on this board may have been trying for a while, and I hope I didn't disrespect anyone with my post.

Thanks again,

Steffie
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 8:04pm

Welcome, Steffie! I know it was unexpected but is it okay to say congratulations?! There are no simple answers to the questions you are asking yourself right now, as it's such a complicated set of circumstances. If it counts for anything, I don't think you're selfish at all. I think you're wise to consider this all so carefully. I hope you can find peace and clarity as you make your way through this journey and, whatever your decision, I hope this forum provides you with helpful advice and compassionate support.

-Rachel


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