3rd doctors apt. (11w4d) - stressful!
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|Tue, 04-17-2012 - 6:31pm|
Not so great of a visit - my bp is up but still normal (from 110 to 122 over 80), lost a pound since my last visit (no complaint from me), and no luck finding the baby's hb on Doppler! I feel so disheartened, I was really looking forward to hearing that sound. I know this is a questionable time to find it but this is not my first pg so my uterus should be high enough to make it easy to find.
I have had so many losses that I really needed to hear the hb to put my mind at ease. I keep thinking that it could be a blighted ovum but the placenta hasn't realized just like the one I had 2 yrs ago (mc at 12 wks but fetal death was at 5 wks), crazy thoughts I know but it's hard to shake. Dh tries to reassure me but he doesn't understand - I joked that I should make up a story and go to the er to get an ultrasound and now he thinks I've really lost it.
Worst part is it is 4 weeks to my next apt and still 8 weeks to my ultrasound, a long long long wait.
UPDATE: I wrote this before i had a chance to research fetal heartbeat via dopplers, I am much more at ease now. The root of the problem is that my doc made the mistake of telling me after my mc 2 yrs ago that he thought the pg was doomed when he couldn't find the hb via doppler at 10 wks (apparently he is very confident of his skills even when i told him he was crazy and you couldn't hear it that early) so that mc is plaguing me even more than it had been. I wish he had come in to the apt instead of sending his intern (i have no problem with interns but they don't have the same skill level as a full doc) .
I need to get my head back to a happy place instead of the worry place, i know i am being irrational!