Work "vent"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Work "vent"
13
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 8:34pm

Hi ladies. I rarely vent about anything, but I am so mad I won't be able to sleep tonight if I don't get this off my chest.... and I am also looking for advice.

I've worked at my current job for about a year. I never had any problems with anyone, including my supervisor. She was always kind to me and praised my work. About two weeks ago we had the new interns come in (4 of them) and she has turned into a completely different person. She often makes jokes about my pregnancy and how I look (even though I have not gained more than 20 pounds and the baby is right on target) and my job performance (comments about me missing days due to hyperemesis). Today I was back at work after missing a day yesterday due to being sick for the past week, throwing up everything for the past 72 hours and feeling like I was about to pass out. Keep in mind that I have taken about 7 days of PTO throughout the entire pregnancy. The rest of the time I have dragged myself to work. So, she was interviewing someone for my maternity leave and I said to her "She looks very nice". Her response? "Yes, she is awesome.  I might fire you and hire her". I couldn't believe she said that and in front of the interns! I was furious and responded back by saying "Go ahead. I will collect". She didn't realize what I was talking about and said "Collect what?" and I said "unemployment". She then got mad and began bragging about the "Excellent lawyers the company has". Like I said before, I was very angry so I snapped at her and said "Go ahead, try to fire a pregnant woman."

 

I know I should have kept my mouth closed but this woman has said negative things towards me over and over again for the past two weeks. She doesn't stop! My DH doesn't seem to think I am over dramatic and trust me, he will let me know if I was the one crossing a line. On this situation he is as angry as I am and even more that she is using the pregnancy to her advantage. 

But I want to know from your perspective, the wonderful ladies that work and have to deal with things like this all the time.....Am I wrong or is she crossing the line here? And regardless of your opinion ( I will value ALL of them), what would you do?

 

Thanks in advance. Hope you are all doing well. We are almost there!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 8:48pm
I work In a factory environment and I feel that her actions are uncalled for. I would talk with an HR representative or someone that is over her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 10:07pm
omg i cannot believe that!! i agree with levy08. CALL HR!! tell them everything you told us! write it all out ahead of time so you dont forget to mention stuff. i would have snapped too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:13am

I think she's completely out of line.  I don't know if she's just trying to be friendly with the new interns or thinks she's funny or what, but she's being very wrong and rude.  You're completely right to be upset.  If you have a good HR support system, I'd complain.  But honestly, I've never had a good HR department at any job.  Sometimes complaining just makes things awkward.  Whatever you do, complain or not, don't let anyone dismiss you as "the crazy emotional pregnant lady" because you are NOT being irrational at all.  Maybe you could mention the problem to HR, so they have a heads up in case you have trouble after maternity leave, but hope things get better during your leave while you all have a break from each other?  I hope things work out soon, you don't need this stress.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 10:30am
Definitely say something! The fact that you snapped back isn't great, but at least it all happened in front of witnesses. That's no way for a supervisor to act.
by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:11pm
It definitely sounds like she really wants to impress these interns for some reason. Depending on your relationship and the general environment, I'd just ask to talk with her privately and explain that you responded emotionally because of the jokes she made, which you feel are inappropriate and - as you said - came as a surprise since you've had a great relationship up to that point. The main thing is telling her you want the jokes to stop because you take your job seriously!

Comparing your situation to that of others doesn't help - I firmly believe in standing up for good ethics and professionalism. Who cares what other people are willing to put up with - at some point enough is enough.

*Hugs*

PS - a good career advice book once pointed out that there are really only two solutions: do something constructive to change what you don't like or leave. I've had to leave a job I enjoyed once (crazy boss), but I've never regretted it! Hopefully, you can sort this one out without having to give up a job you are otherwise happy with.

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 6:26pm

Thank you all very much for your kind words of advice. I tried talking with HR today (just to test the waters) and the first thing they said to me was that there is no such thing as a maternity leave in the company and thus any ELB for maternity purposes is considered "unsecured". I am not eligible for FMLA because I have not worked for the company for a year. After thinking about it I will most likely talk to my boss directly and explain the situation. 

I just came back from my scheduled OBGYN appointment and the baby looks perfect but they are concerned about some complains I had about shortness of breath and heart palpitations. They ordered an EKG. This puts everything back in perspective :-) I have a 6 year old to take care of and a baby on the way......I am not going to stress about this anymore than I should.

Again, thank you for taking the time to post. I appreciate it very much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 3:52am
P&PT! And ugh - I had a similar insurance/benefits issue due to just under 12 months on the job, too. And you're absolutely right - perspective is everything. :-) *Hugs*

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2011
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 1:37pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 10:02pm

Hi chica. Thanks for your support. Im doing a lot better. Turns out my magnesium levels were low and so was the protein in my blood. I was so tired and out of breath all the time. I had to change my diet completely and take pills but I am feeling much better. Looking forward to hearing your birth story! I can't believe this is it for all of us, lol. Hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:06am

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