Breast feeding.

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Breast feeding.
14
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 6:41am
I have wanted to breaatfeed but I'm afraid of getting frustrated with it.and being sore. Is breast feeding gonna put strain on my relationship with hubby??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
In reply to:
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 9:49am

I'm having the same thoughts and more!  The answer I get from most people is "It's tough, but it's worth it."  Ugg, that doesn't sound too motivating.  I think you just have to focus on the positives.  My other kids were formula fed but I'm determined to attempt breastfeeding this time. 

For me, I'm doing it for a few specific reasons:

1. Saves money - besides the cost of formula itself, formula and formula-fed baby poop stains.  Breastfed baby clothes last a little longer because they don't get stained as much.

2. Healthier - Breastfed babies get less ear infections (my other kids were prone to ear infections and we had many sleepless nights)

3. Breastfed babies need fed by mom (so my awful mother-in-law can't babysit if I don't have milk pumped, lol.)

Good luck.  Hopefully you can find something that motivates you.  And I'm sure the woman who have actually done it have good advice.  Plus, I had this pointed out to me: If you start breastfeeding, you can change your mind and switch to formula.  But if you start formula feeding, you can never change your mind and switch to breast.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
In reply to:
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 9:52am
Welcome! I haven't noticed any strain on my relationship with my husband, but we were both in agreement that we wanted me to breastfeed, regardless. There's a great discussion on the Breastfeeding VS Formula Debate board right now about this very topic: http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/The-Debate/News-Breastfeeding-and-Sex-Is-Latching-On-a-Turn-Off/m-p/119499237/message-uid/119499237#U119499237

As for getting frustrated and being sore, that's probably going to happen. But if you stick with it, it gets better. The soreness goes away, the endless growth spurts slow down, and it becomes a peaceful time to sit back and enjoy your baby. :smileyhappy:
by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
In reply to:
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 3:25pm

I loved breastfeeding and I am looking forward to doing it again!  It is def a tough thing to do though, but well worth it!  With my DS it was the most challenging because it was new to both of us.  My nipples were sore, cracked and bled for a few weeks.  I finally gave in and saw a lactation specialist, best thing ever!  She taught me better latching and positioning and from there on out it was perfect.  With my second baby, DD, I knew what I was doing but I still had to teach my baby girl.  She is tongue tied so that was a slight challenge but I did not get her tongue clipped, instead I used a nipple shield for a couple weeks till she learned then everything was great, no soreness, cracking or bleeding with her at all :smileyhappy:.  With DS I BF till he self weaned at 13 months, I also had to pump at work which sucked.  With DD I had to wean her at 14 months cause I was preggers again and with HG made it difficult to eat already so it was very hard on me. 

Positives: Soooo many, Benefits of the milk of course!  Saving money, always have milk ready to go lol, bonding is awesome!  It is sooooo easy once you both gets used to it.

Negatives: I had to pump one side all the way after nursing cause I over produced.  But that only lasted the first month or so, it is a supply and demand thing.  So in the beginning if your baby is sleeping through the night you still need to get up and pump every few hours to keep your supply up!  My DD refused bottles of breastmilk so I could not be away from her very long.  That did get better after a few months though when she would eat over 3-4 hours during the day.  As far as the hubby thing goes, the only negative I had was I refused to take my bra off while DTD!  I felt the puppies needed support 24-7 while nursing, so my hubby did not get to enjoy them period till nursing was completely over!  Other negatives for me were not being able to enjoy my wine at night.  My kids were so unpredictable so I could not lay them down and expect them to sleep for a solid 4 hours or so.  Around 11 months though I was able to enjoy my wine again :smileyhappy:.  I still drank a cup or two of coffee a day so that was not an issue. 

Whewww, sorry so long!  Just go into knowing that it can be challenging, but once you and your baby get used to it, it is a breeze!  Good luck!

Korin

DS (23 months) EDD 1/11/11
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
In reply to:
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 6:13pm
For some, it can come naturally and effortless. I think the fact my mom had no issues makes me pretty easygoing about it. If you skip bottles altogether, it seems like it'd actually be easier on DH. ;-)

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 12:48pm

I have breastfed all 3 of my kids, and plan to with this one.  At first with my daughter, it was hard b/c neither of us really knew what we were doing.  I was lucky and never really had sore nipples or any issues. I was also able to pump at work until my kids were a year old, that was hard, but totally worth it.  None of my babies have ever had a drop of formula, so we have been very lucky.

The best advice I ever got while I was pregnant with my first was to find a local LaLeche League group and go while I was pregnant.  It is free.  The group I went to was wonderful, answered any questions, and even had a newborn latch on demo with a willing mom and baby.  I went to 2 or 3 meetings before I had her, then went after she was born for help, etc.  Having supportive people around you is key!  

As for strain on DH and I, there wasn't any more straid with bfing than after any birth.  HIs only "complaint" was he didn't get to "touch" them as much b/c I was touched out from having a baby latched on.

For me breastfeeding was the best thing I could have ever done.  I also made it a point for me not to have even a single can of formula in the house b/c I knew if I were tempted to make a bottle it would hurt my bfing realtionship.  That is just a personal thing for me though.

 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 1:20pm

I open to anything.  refuse to beat myself up if BF doesn't work.  I honestly have enough other stuff going on in my life that I cannot get upset about if it works or not.    I will be getting back to work pretty quickly, and pumping at work is going to be pretty hard-  so beyond the first few weeks I dont' anticipate it working.

 

cost is not an issue,  my sanity is- and since I will most likely have PPD again, I will be on meds and prefer to not have to worry about it going through my milk to the baby.    I support whatever decision a mother choose to make and I expect the same respect in return.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
In reply to:
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 2:29pm
Theresa, my midwife is totally in line with the philosophy of not beating yourself up over not BFing. I'm going to give it my best and be optimistic that it will all work out, but medical conditions (such as PPD) do exist, and it's great to have such good formulas, bottles, etc nowadays. I even saw a bottle-making machine that looks and works like my Dolce Gusto coffee machine. If I end up doing bottles, I will definitely get one. It evenly heats and dispenses water at a temp ideal for baby.

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
In reply to:
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 2:30pm
That also goes for not BFing by choice imho. It's like cloth vs. disposables. ;-)

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 3:08pm

I apprecaite your feedback TXDELA.  I just feel bad because sometimes women DO let others' opinions affect them.. and they shouldn't.    I dont' think anyone should even ASK a new mom if she is BF.   Ask her if the baby is sleeping ok.. if she is getting enough sleep... if she needs any help with anything etc.  She will offer the info she wants to offer.    I just think it is a personal decision and frankly you wouldn't ask someone if they had a good BM this morning.. so dont' nose into the relationship they have with their child.  

Some people have a real chip on their shoulder about BF and those are the people I have a problem with.    If I decide I just don't WANT to BF because dearly miss the freedoms I gave up for 9 months-  then I will make that decision and it is nobody's business.  It's like you almost need a ticket to "not" BF.  Oh.. the mother died in child birth.. so yeah the dad HAD to use formula..   Or she has to take all sorts of Medication so it's OKAY if she uses formula.   LOL.  Um, Mom wants her body back and wants others to help with feeding the baby so she might CHOOSE to use formula.  M Y O B.    Stand by your decisions(any and all of them) and tell others to get some sticks, build a bridge and get over it.  If they are losing sleep by how I feed my baby.. I could only wish I had as much time on my hands as they do :smileyhappy:

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
In reply to:
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 11:25am
:-) MIL had the most interesting reason I had heard of so far: she couldn't because she had a blood transfusion. Somehow she was 'ill' the second time as well. I ofc didn't ask any of this, but she obviously felt compelled to add the disclaimer. My dad's mom was unapologetic and direct: she basically felt BFing was perverse, and it shocked the family that my mom BFed us in private. Well, my attempted point is that I actually think the debate is cooler than it was in decades past. Although, I do think people are more nosy now! :-)

- JM

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