Don't know where to begin.....
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 02-24-2013 - 8:29pm|
My name is Jenny. I joined iVillage many years ago. I joined the "waiting" board before my husband and I were even married. That was back in 2004. I had already had one miscarriage at the age of 23 but never thought it would be an ongoing problem. My husband and I finally got married in 2006, waited 6 months and began TTC....for 2 years! I went through every test, procedure, and....yes....surgery, trying to get pregnant. I finally took Clomid and got pregnant. I miscarried at 9 weeks. My husband was killed in a tragic accident one month later. Over a year later, I met someone, we dated for 3 years and we lost twins. He and I broke up in October (2012).
To summarize everything I have been through into one paragraph just seems so crazy because it has been a living HELL! But to tell you everything that happened and to tell you how I've coped with it all would just be impossible. My husband and I were together (dating and married) for 5 years. He has been gone for 4. There isn't a day that goes by that I haven't missed him like crazy!
So, I have miscarried 3 times. My first at the age of 23. I am now 34. I gave up on the idea of becoming a mother (or being happy) and just quit trying. About 4 months ago, I met a guy that I knew I was going to fall madly in love with. The guy I dated for 3 years after my husband died was a loser. I met him before I was ready to be in another relationship and, to be quite honest, my standards were obviously low. Dustin (my current boyfriend) is the prince charming that you aren't afraid to take home and introduce to your family. He is someone that came along and showed me that my life isn't over. And, now, SHOCKINGLY....I am pregnant! No Clomid....not trying....wasn't even going to take a test!
Could this be miscarriage #4? Yep.....sure could? Am I going to worry about it?! Sure not! I've been there, done that. And it didn't change a darn thing! So this time, I'm going to be happy today that there is this miracle inside of me. And, if for some reason, this one is taken away from me, I will know that I loved it while it was here and I was sooooooo happy to have carried it as long as I did. Because I have learned that we NEVER know what is going to happen in this life. And, if we have a moment of happiness.....we shouldn't spoil it with worry about what COULD happen!
So, I'm so happy to say that I am 5 weeks pregnant today! And I couldn't be happier than I am at this very moment!
By the way....I have absolutely no idea what tickers I may have or what is in my siggy. I haven't even looked yet. LOL