Listening to my heart
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|Thu, 02-09-2012 - 11:10am|
I really don't know where to start here... I am new to the group.... I am 9 weeks pregnant and in a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my husband for 6 yrs. We have 2 great kids together. A 5 yr old and 3 yr old. The problem is my husband's temper. He got into some trouble in the fall for hurting our 3 yr old. I thought that after a few months of counseling things would be fine, he'd come home, and things would go back "normal". He's home now but things don't feel normal to me. He's still losing his temper-though without physically hurting anyone. I am on edge all the time. Constantly anxious. My kids seem cautious, confused, and clingy-especially my 3 yr old. My 5 yr old seems a little angry at times. They are very resilient kids and do well in school. They are happy until things get really tense. And they do love their dad. I care very much about him myself...
So I am making plans to move in with family members out of state as soon as possible. I am uprooting my kids from everything they've ever known. A great preschool, wonderful daycare, their friends... I will have wonderful family and friend support when I get to where I am going. I am scared though. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of hurting my kids by moving them from their dad. Afraid of bringing another child into this world without it's father. A child that I already love so much.
I love my kids and want to do right by them. My husband said it would mess them up moving them so far away. I hope that's not true because I don't want them mad at me and I don't want them "messed up".
Grr... This is all so confusing to me. I just want to make the right decision! I've been to YWCA meetings and see a private counselor. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and understand that my husband is an abuser who also suffers from PTSD. Healthy huh?
Well, thanks for