1st appt today

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
1st appt today
10
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 12:06pm

I'm feeling good after my 1st appt, and I am happy to say that the bean is in my uterus this time!! eek!! I go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound, because its still early and the heartbeat couldn;t be heard. SO yay!!!!

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 2:21am

WOOHOO!!!!!


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

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Registered: 10-25-2010
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 10:37pm

So I had

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 3:30am
{{{HUGS}}} It's trite to say "I'm sorry" but I am. Let us know how you're doing, ok?


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 1:21am

I go back later today for the next ultrasound( & I say later today since its after 1am), actually my appt is in less than 6 hours. I'm nervous, scared and paranoid. I'm still hoping for good news while preparing for the worst.

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Registered: 10-25-2010
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 9:37am

Had the ultrasound, and baby was measuring almost 3 weeks smaller now (& smaller than last week), so I'm going in on Friday for a D&C.

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Registered: 01-06-2000
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 11:22pm
CourtneyS87387 wrote:

Had the ultrasound, and baby was measuring almost 3 weeks smaller now (& smaller than last week), so I'm going in on Friday for a D&C.

I'm so sorry, Courtney :smileysad: You're in my thoughts and prayers.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Sat, 12-04-2010 - 5:18pm

Well, I had the D&C yesterday. And I'm not hurting, just feel a little numb.. I lost another baby, and I want to cry, but I can't. Surgery went fine, tho I waited in outpatient surgery for almost 4 hours before I actually went back to the OR waiting area. I barely remember going to the OR before sleeping. And when I woke up in recovery, I

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 8:05am
I'm glad your procedure went ok, and I hope you continue to heal with no complications. I know you'll have some days of sadness, but it's possible that you actually already grieved as you've known things weren't right for some time now. Emotionally, you may be moving on, and that's ok. I know, with my ep, by the time I actually had the lap surgery, I had very few tears left in me...I was ready at that point to just get on with my life.

{{{HUGS}}} I'm glad you posted...I came here this morning wondering how you were doing.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 5:08pm

I wrote this on facebook late Sunday night/early Monday morning, and I thought I'd share here. Its how I started feeling. I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop crying. ...

heck I should at least be in bed. But I can't sleep. I tried to go to sleep at midnight, and all I was doing was cry. After I came home from the hospital, all I really felt was numb. I wasn't hurting, I wasn't crying, I wasn't feeling anything. I guess it just really hit me that I'm not pregnant, again. 2 pregnancy losses in almost 5 months. I feel broken. :/ All I actually want to do right now is cry. I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to be brave.. I'm failing miserablely. I don't want to do anything right now, other than lounge around. I have laundry to do, but I don't have the urgency to do it. I don't want to go back to work, and have to act like I'm ok, when I'm really not. I don't really want to go anywhere. I'd love to go to Florida, but I don't want to drive. I've worked on getting my christmas stuff up, and thats something I did to really not let myself even think about what happened. :'( The tree is up with lights, garland and decorations, its just missing a topper. The only other thing I really have done is 3 strands of lights up in the kitchen living room area. Oh and my fiber optic Santa. I'm glad I have family and friends who support me during all this, I just wish I felt more like me right now. I know its probably going to take a while... Just like its going to take a long time before I will even want to think about getting pregnant again. Oh well, I think I've written enough right now.. Tho I'm not tired, so I'm probably just going still be up. I'm really glad that Jacob is with my parents during all this. I don't think I'd be fun right now. I'm not brave or strong right now. I'm fragile and heartbroken.

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Wed, 12-08-2010 - 9:37pm
Sending you lots of {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} It does hurt...a lot...and it's hard to feel normal, or festive, or any of the things people think you ought to feel. It's ok to not feel those things at all. You loved your little one and your dreams revolved around this Christmas, and many to come, with that precious little angel.

Give yourself time to heal...I promise, day by day, things will get better. And if you do feel like being a bit festive, don't berate yourself for that either...it's ok to feel either way, or to feel both ways at once!


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting