Explaining Pregnancy Loss to Children

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Explaining Pregnancy Loss to Children
5
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 3:05pm

I just wanted to pass along this article on how to explain to your child about your loss:

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 10:57pm
Well I remember when my mom miscarried (after my sister died). They didn't tell me she was pg at all, and I have no idea how far along she was when she m/c. She was going to have to go for a D&C, so in order for me to not worry because she had to go to the hospital, they told me that she was pg but that something was wrong and the baby wasn't going to live. Well all I heard was that she was pg and I was so happy....So in retrospect I wish I'd known all along that she was pg, or else nothing at all.

I involved my dd very early in the two pregnancies that happened after she was born. When the first of those resulted in m/c, she cried along with me. She was 3 and I m/c at 10 weeks. It was comforting to me to have her little girl hugs and know that she cared. I've always been very open so hiding it from her wasn't something I could have done.

I do like how the article said to reassure your child(ren) that you're going to ttc again...at least if that's the case. When they are excited about a new sibling, they need to know that there's still the possibility of one even if this one wasn't meant to be.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 1:54pm
It does help to have a little one to hold onto when you are sad. I'm pretty sure my son was confused why I was upset, but it helped to have him to focus on.

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 5:27pm
I know my mom has told me that having to "be the mom" and take care of me was what kept her going and gave her a purpose for life after my sister died.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 1:24pm
I bet :( I'm sure it's somethings that is still really hard for her, just so sad.

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 8:39am

I find that as an adult, I'm able to be an emotional support to my mom.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting