Grief After a Loss

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Grief After a Loss
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 2:36pm

I just wanted to pass along some information for after your loss and working on the grief you will be feeling:

Years ago a woman was not supposed to grieve after a pregnancy loss.

If you have a pregnancy loss, you are entitled to whatever feelings you have, whether they are mild or intense, mixed or very clear. Some women feel like they're in shock, or depressed and guilty. They may feel that way for many weeks or months. If you are told that you're "overreacting" or "exaggerating your feelings," know that this is not true.

On the other hand, some women feel sad for a few days at the most and that's all. Don't feel bad if you don't feel bad, and you don't have to believe those who say you are "repressing" or "denying your feelings." Your feelings will vary depending on many factors, including whether this was a planned pregnancy.

Another factor in pregnancy grief is how far advanced the pregnancy was. Were you six weeks pregnant, or did you go through labor and give birth to a perfectly formed baby who was dead? Often, but not always, the intensity of feeling increases the more real the baby seems.

Be aware that your body "grieves," too. It suddenly has to adjust hormonal levels and make other bodily changes. The further along you are, the more adjustments your body has to make.

What has helped you cope with your loss?