Hope grows still......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Hope grows still......
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 6:04pm

Hello courageous women,

I'm stopping by this board after almost seven years to share love and hope with those of you who are going through the pain, frustration, tears, and discouragement of loss. I have been where you are having lost my first baby to ectopic in October 2002 and my second to miscarriage in Feb 2003. This board was my lifeline through the long year of grieving - so much so that I was CL of this board for most of that year.

In Oct 2002, I was rushed in for emergency laparoscopic surgery and the baby and pregnancy I thought was perfect and beautiful was taken in such a painful and traumatic way. I lost part of my right tube and believed that I would never get pregnant again- or at least be able to carry a pregnancy to term.

A marriage breakdown (yes, partially because of the pregnancy losses - the trauma of loss can have devastating effects on a marriage) and many years later, I found out I was pregnant this past January. Experiencing some pain on my right side, I immediately went to the ER convinced of another ectopic. I mentally disconnected, preparing for the news, not wanting to experience the pain that comes with loosing something you want. Instead, the dr said that the sac was where it should be, but it was measuring much smaller than my dates and he concluded that a miscarriage was most likely imminent.

A long story short, I am currently 25 weeks, 4 days pregnant with a beautiful little girl due to arrive at the end of September.

So, hope still grows despite the pain of what you're going through right now. And like I used to say so many times during my time on this board, because of the pain and the loss you've had to go through, you will experience and treasure the joy of life in such a profound way some day. Loss can be a gift because it enables you to experience joy and hope in way not possible without knowing what it's like to lose.

Avatar for cl_susanmercy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 10:34am
Ann, thank you for stopping back in with your words of reassurance and hope.
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 1:18pm
Congratulations on your little girl, Ann!