Dealing with the Guilt of Loss

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Dealing with the Guilt of Loss
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 3:21pm

I wanted to pass along this article from the Huffington Post on dealing with the guilt and blame we feel after a miscarriage: 

There is no one "right" way to feel after experiencing pregnancy loss. The trauma continuum is vast and varied. Every woman comes to this loss with differing maternal hopes, historical disappointments, pregnancy fantasies, relationships with their bodies, interpersonal support, psychological and spiritual resources and mental health landscapes. However, in my clinical practice, I have witnessed an overriding shame-laden thread that invariably weaves through the grief-stricken stories I am privileged to hear. Why are women blaming themselves for something over which they have zero control? My hunch is that the pain of wanting something so badly and not knowing if it can be attained, or having no control over something so elusive as fetal development, is too terrifying to sit with. As a result, we scurry around, desperate for definitive answers and when there are none, blame ends up clutching onto our shoulders, leaking into our psyches and settling into our bodies.

Read her tips at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-zucker-phd/5-ways-to-revolutionize-how-we-think-about-pregnancy-loss_b_3894261.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

Do you have any tips of your own you would like to share?  What has helped you deal with the loss?