feeling so discouraged

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2014
feeling so discouraged
2
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 3:09pm

I am the mom of a beautiful 16 month old boy and I count my blessings that I was able to have him.  I swear I will never take this gift for granted. 

We started to try to concieve a sibling for him when he was 4-5 months old.  I was pregnant on the first try, and miscarried at less than 6 weeks.  The doctor suggested I give my body some time to recover from childbirth and the loss, plus I was still nursing, and they recommended trying again when he was 1.  The month of his first birthday we tried again and I was pregnant again on the first try.  I ended up having a blighted ovum and was able to miscarry naturally at about 9 weeks or so.  The following weeks and months were so tough because it took 3-4 months for me to ovulate again for my cycles to regulate and I neede provera.  In January I finally ovulated on my own and got a positive pregnancy test.  My HCG level was only 35 at 16 dpo.  I am just so devestated.  I go back in a week but I know chances are very slim that this will be a viable pregnancy. The thought of going through miscarrying again and months of trying to regulate my cycles; then with the unknown as to if it may happen a 4th time....right now it just seems more than I can bear.  I want so badly to give my son a sibling.  I am afraid because I am 35 and now about to turn 36 and with my history....I just don't know.  I am sure they will refer me to a specialist and I am so afraid they will tell me that all my eggs are bad. 

Thank you for listening.  My husband really doesn't understand and i'm too tearful to talk about it with many other people.  I also feel like other women who have not had miscarriages don't understand. 

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 9:46am
((((HUGS))) I'm so sorry about your losses. I think it's a good sign that you can get pg, you need to figure out why they are sustainable afterwards. Have they checked your progesterone levels? I hope that you can report that your levels have risen since last week, please let us know.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 9:47am

((((HUGS))) I'm so sorry about your losses.  I think it's a good sign that you can get pg, you need to figure out why they are sustainable afterwards.  Have they checked your progesterone levels?  I hope that you can report that your levels have risen since last week, please let us know.