It's like a switch was pulled

Avatar for CW8062012
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2012
It's like a switch was pulled
2
Sun, 07-15-2012 - 8:17pm

Ever since we found out there was no longer a heartbeat, I was not able to stop crying.  I cried all the way into my d&c.  However when I woke up from the anesthesia it's like a switch was pulled and I have not been able to cry.  My chest feels so heavy and I feel like I need some sort of release for all this pain, but the tears just won't come.  Did this happen to anyone else?  I feel like I am a ticking time bomb about to explode from something small and then I won't be able to stop.  I hope that it doesn't happen while I am at work.  I hate that I am still having symptoms.  I get that the hormones are still in there wreaking havok but it just makes it that much harder.  It just makes it hard.  I have the symptoms, but I also feel empty at the same time.  Time...I just need time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 9:00am

WHen I couldnt cry and needed a release I had ways of working it out.  NOT for everyone.  But I like to bake--so I made a lot of nutbread and nut rolls.  Why that?  Because I would buy whole walnuts and spend hours crushing them with a rolling pin.  More like punishing them.. but it helped a great deal with frustration.

I also started swinging a 15lb sledge hammer around breaking up a horribly ugly dish set in the backyard that just happened to be the object of my rage a few times.  Nope not for everyone.. but I was angry.. and I was pissed... I needed a way to destroy something that was safe for me and everyone around me. 

Finding a way to work out the emotions might helps... Sometimes crying just doesn't cut it.

(((HUGS)))

Avatar for CW8062012
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2012
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 8:54pm

It finally came out.  After talking with my 1 pg friend who is due 2 weeks before I should be and listening to her.  Then talking with my other friend who told me his wife was pg and she's 15 wks and that it was my fault they were pg.  After all that I had a good cry.  I am still angry and things set me off, but I guess I am dealing.