confused & heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
confused & heartbroken
9
Wed, 09-07-2011 - 5:47pm

I found out last week that I was pregnant.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Administrator
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 2:19pm
(((HUGS))) I'm sorry to say that if your hcg levels have gone down it doesn't look good :( Early miscarriages like this don't have as strong as symptoms, most women don't even realized it happened and just think they are having a heavier period.

I'm not sure if having PCOS would make it harder to carry a baby to term, although it can cause issues getting pregnant. There are medications and other alternatives you can try when you are ready to conceive. Sending you lots of P&PTs, let us know how you are doing and what your next levels show.

Melissa
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 3:13pm

Thank you for responding...

I had my blood test done this morning, waiting and hoping to hear as soon as possible, either today or tomorrow...

This is awful, the not knowing for sure, and the waiting. The doctor said yesterday they want to do the ultrasound next week to make sure everything is cleared or i might have to have the procedure to remove it.

I don't know how to cope with my SO either... he's making me feel worse. Going on about his life like it's not happening, meanwhile I sit here in tears half the time traumatized. Stuck somewhere between sad and and in pain. All the while in the background knowing he "may" (awaiting paternity test) have a 3 yr old by another woman. How is it fair some stranger has a child with my SO but not me? This thought never even came in my mind until now... and I said him maybe we could TTC and he said we werent trying before this happened, so why would we start now? and reiterated all the reasons he wanted me to terminate in the first place.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 12:51pm
I started officially miscarrying last night and it's now ongoing. Absolutely devastating. How do you move past this?
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Administrator
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 4:57pm
I'm so sorry :( Men just really don't get it, I hope that he can somehow understand the pain you are going through and how empty you are feeling. Give yourself permission to grieve and cry, and we are here to listen when you need to talk about it. (((HUGS)))

Melissa
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 11:17pm

I am so sorry for your pain. I too am in the same boat. I am just spotting at the moment but will be taking the pill in the morning to get the "tissue" as they call it to pass. I am so not looking forward to this at all. I wasn't trying to get pg and like you considered many avenues and just when I though I can do this, everything will be ok. Bam. This sucks. This will be my 4th miscarrage and I feel so defective. I am here for you whenever you need to talk ((((HUGS))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 8:23pm

Thank you for posting... i'm very sorry for your loss and pain...

Now that "it" is over, I am feeling a little bit better, a little bit stronger... my body is starting to feel normal again, and my strength feels like its returning.

Are you with the father? How is he taking it?

I think "not trying" and then going through all the feelings and options and then deciding you want it... and then it goes... i think its so hard. I feel like if i had known what i wanted to do then maybe it would have stayed?

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 3:36am

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. So much has been happening. To answer your question, yes I am with the father and we have 2 kids together. He is very upset with himself because he promised me that he would get a vesectomy but didnt like the dr that he was gonna have to go to so he just never did it and this is where we ended up.

After taking the pills that sunday I cramped all day and passed alot of clots and I thought it was all over.... I was wrong. I went in this last Wed. for a check up and the midwife told me she was not comfortable with the amount of blood and the fact that while she was doing the exam it hurt me. So she did a blood test and called me the next day and my HCG levels were 2000, I had to go in for an ultrasound on Thurs and while doing the exam it hurt and the tech asked if I felt any pain so I said yes. I went to the birth center to find out that the baby had implanted in my right tube! Because there was no rupture or internal bleeding and I had just eaten something I was sceduled for emergency surgery first thing on Friday morning. The dr had to remove my right tube along with the baby.

So I lost my baby and then lost it again. I thought I was ok and did my grieving but I have found today that I am still very upset even though I really DO NOT want anymore kids. The poor little guy was all traped in my tube. I cant help but think if it would have only made it to the right spot it would have been ok.

How are you feeling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2011
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 5:58am
I'm so sorry you're about to go through that. I did the same thing on Monday and it's not been a fun experiance at all. I've had the worst cramps and lower back pain all week. Lots of rest and support, you'll need it! (((HUGS)))
Community Leader
Registered: 01-11-2012
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 4:57pm

Just wondered how you were doing.