Heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Heartbroken
6
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 12:30am

So I went in last week 11/24 and had an ultrasound, Being that they calculated me being 7weeks 5days, when they baby measured 6weeks 2days.. I felt like something was wrong. The ultrasound tech couldn't find the heartbeat, so she had me talk to the doctor. She told me that I would probably start miscarrying, but we would do a follow up ultrasound on 11/30. Well we did the ultrasound and yet again they had calculated me being 8weeks 4days, and when they measured the baby, it was 5weeks 6days. :smileysad: So it was measuring smaller and yet again they couldn't find the heartbeat. When the doctor followed up with me after the ultrasound, she gave me the option of waiting and see if it would start naturally. But with the baby being almost 3 weeks smaller than it should have been and there not being a heartbeat, I have opted to have a D&C. :smileysad: I just hate the idea of waiting to see if the natural process would start, and knowing that the baby won't progress. My heart is really broken. This is my second pregnancy loss in 6 months, and I can say that its the worst 6 months I've had. My first pregnancy loss was discovered when I was 11weeks pregnant in July, when I had my first drs appt and ultrasound and the pregnancy wasn't in my uterus... it was in my left tube. I ended up having emergency surgery and losing 3 things that day. I lost the pregnancy, my left tube and my left ovary. So after all of this, I'm really heartbroken and thankful for my family, especially my husband and 23month old son.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 11:48am

Hi Courtney. We haven't met yet and what a terrible way to do so. My name is Jeannie. I found out thru a home pregnancy test o November 15th that I was pregnant. My AF wasn't even due until the 18th. I was over the moon excited! Pregnancy symptoms were SORE bbs, tired and a warm, hormonal felling in tummy. Everythiong seemed great, had my 1st OB appt. on Tues. Nov. 23rd and he wanted me to schedule a ultrasound for Dec. 7th~I had previously had an ectopic preg. before having my last baby. It was found early at that time and had surgery to remove the baby~saving my tube. Anyways,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 1:21pm

It looks like we are all going through this together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 2:26pm

Courtney,

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 3:43pm
I'm so very sorry, sending you lots of (((HUGS))).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 3:03am

My whole family already knew, because I kinda suck at keeping secrets about myself. But everyone is being supportive. I had also told a bunch of my friends, because I look at it this way. If something happens and they already know, I don't have to pretend that I'm ok when I'm really not. I went into my work today for the first time in awhile and actually talked to a few of my managers (I work retail, so I have a bunch) and they couldn't get over how brave I am., because I've had 2 pregnancy losses pretty close together. I don't feel very brave, I feel kinda numb to be honest. :/ And I felt exactly like this after I had the emergency surgery for my ectopic. It took me a little while to actually feel the pain of the loss. And I've named both of my losses, I think it makes it a little easier to grieve a loss if you have a name. Just my opinion tho.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:43pm

Hearing the words, brave and strong after a loss are very hard to comprehend when you are in the middle of your loss. You know how you feel. What others see as brave and strong, you see as weak. It is a hard concept to grasp. You have experienced a huge loss. Don't forget to let yourself grieve. It is important and normal. (((((HUGS))))) I have not named my loss. I think it is a good idea though and I think I will. Thanks for that.