I had a stillborn baby help please..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
I had a stillborn baby help please..
2
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 5:40am
I found out my daughters heart stopped beating on August 19th 2010.. a week before she passed her father told me to forget he existed, to go to hell, to never contact him again.. I had her sleeping on August 21st 2010.. Its not getting easier.. its getting harder.. He hasnt even called once to see how I am.. to see if Im okay.. to talk about her.. nothing.. and I dont know why I care that he doesnt care.. but my heart hurts.. I am falling apart everyday even worse.. I cry myself to sleep almost every night clutching her baby blanket she was wrapped in.. I cant do this anymore.. I am a wreck and he acts like we never existed.. Somedays I swear.. it was the biggest mistake of my life meeting him and getting pregnant (accidentally) and having her.. for giving her the chance.. the day they told me something was wrong I should of aborted.. I put myself through so much hell and sometimes I dont think its the smartest thing I did for myself.. I am having such a hard time anymore.. I dont want to get out of bed I dont want to do anything anymore.. I just want to cry and hold my belly and pretend I still feel her moving..

Sorry for the nonsense ramblings.. can anybody talk to me about this? Losing a child.. having the father not care? Does this get easier?? Please help me.. cause I am losing my mind
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 10:27am

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone and that we have been through the pain.
Everyone grieves differently. I don't know anything abiout the father but sometimes people grieve by ignoring the problem - that is how they cope.
As for you, what you are going through is normal. I cried everynight for weeks, months, but it does get easier and life continues, even if we don't want to. See if you can find some grief counselling in your area, through your church, synangogue, a grief support group.
The pain never goes away but I promise it gets easier.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:25am

I am so sorry for your loss and that the father was such a jerk! My boy's father told me that he put the babies up there so what I did to them was up to me. It was the worst thing possible for him to do or say right after my babies were born sleeping. It's been almost three years for me and it does get easier to handle. Your life will never be as it was before. There will be days that you'll quit crying yourself to sleep and days that you can eventually find joys again.



My sweet baby boys Josh and Jesse were born into the arms of Jesus on January 11th 2008. They will always be missed and remain living in my heart forever!