What do I say when someone asks if I'm a parent?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
What do I say when someone asks if I'm a parent?
2
Fri, 07-20-2012 - 3:24pm

On February 12, 2012, I had a son Aiden Owen. He died three minutes after he was born.Aiden would have been our first child.

Now I don't know what to say when someone asks if I have children. I don't want to say no because I don't want to dismiss him, but I can't explain what happened to people without falling apart. What do I say?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 7:36am

While I was in the hospital, I was asked often how many children I had and if this was my first son.  I always included our stillborn son when asked about children.  It took me awhile to not break down as I said it. Sometimes I simply say how many children I have and leave it at that. 

It hurt to keep opening up that wound while I was in the hospital.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 7:41am

Sorry my message sent before I was finished.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your son, Aiden Owen--  how are you doing now?

Someone asked me around Mother's Day if she was a Mother since her first child had died at birth.  One of the things we talked about in support was that she is a Mother--unfortunately her time with her son is delayed-but it doesn't change the fact she's a mother--just when she gets to be with her child. 

(((HUGS)))  Those are some of the most difficult parts of figuring out how to move forward.