Missing my angel Ruby Jayne

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2012
Missing my angel Ruby Jayne
5
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 2:22pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 2:41pm

Oh Sara, I am so sorry for the loss of your Ruby Jayne. My heart breaks for you and tears are in my eyes. It's really hard at first - you don't know how to feel, your friends and family don't know what to say, your arms are empty and your heart broken. Please don't stop going to counseling though! This is so important - without 14 months of it for myself and DH, I don't know if I would have made it. Even after 3 1/2 years I blame myself for losing our Bregan, though it was my midwives fault and my rational brain knows this. If you don't like your counselor - find a new one! BUT please don't blame yourself!!! Stillbirths are very unexplained - much like SIDS. Even if you would have rushed to the hospital at that moment - there is no promise things would have turned out differently. I know you are still in so much pain. When we lost Bregan, I threw myself into other things - I made sure he had a lovely memorial, I only asked that money be sent to the NICU Social Workers fund at the hospital he passed away at. Another dear Momma I know, when her Benjamin was born sleeping, she involved herself in creating "healing boxes" for the hospital to give away to the families of sleeping babies. Time will heal your broken heart and I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it will. It's not fair and like you, I had so many friends with babies on either side of my due date, but I stayed friends with them and they were really there for me too. I understood that their baby was not my Angel, but sometimes it was unbearable. (((HUGS))) for you and your DH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 3:05pm
Many (((HUGS))), Sara, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your precious Ruby Jayne. You didn't do anything to cause this, it just happens, but it's so hard when you don't have any answers. Please know that we'll be here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2012
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 2:59pm
Thanks ladies... Just trying to get by hour by hour... Hope we get pregnant again soon!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 3:40pm

There really aren't words to say how sorry I am for your loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 4:54pm
I am so sorry for the loss of your child. I am just sick that any of us are here at all. I am still trying to figure out how to navigate this road.

I read a lot of blogs from other baby loss moms, it makes me feel like I am normal. I also write one to vent.

And I also do whatever it is to survive, logical or not. I am cutting off DH's family for a few reasons. THey are the type of family you take down pictures and do not talk about people after they die. They also don't read body language and so they do a lot of insensitive things any normal person would stop doing when they noticed your reaction.