No idea if I'm in the right place...
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|Sat, 10-09-2010 - 10:12am|
I keep looking but it seems that I'm in the middle of everything and don't really fit anywhere. I was 17 weeks when I lost and had to deliver my son. That was on October 2. I went on friday for a regular checkup and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I had to go Saturday and deliver him and then had to have a D&C because the placenta wouldn't deliver and I was bleeding heavily. My body is still hurting and I am still emotionally wrecked. I've miscarried before and kept hoping that I could convince myself it was just a 'late miscarriage' like they term it but it was a baby..it was my baby..it was a boy that had a home, had a family, and is loved. I've got 4 other kids that don't quite understand and have questions on and off which aren't easy to answer. I seem to have good days where I can pull my head out of the fog (and basically pretend it's a horrible dream) and then I have bad days where I know it's reality..an unfair reality but reality none the less. I just don't understand how after 4 healthy pregnancies with no issues at all..this could happen. They did testing and said it was genetic but I can't get past thinking that my thyroid had something to do with it and it was my fault. I've got friends that are supportive luckily but others seem to think that I should be ok by now..they are uncomfortable around me and try to pretend it didn't happen.