so very sad...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
so very sad...
8
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 5:25pm
On August 15, 2010 I went into labor...I was 1 week early. I, according to my doctor, had a perfect pregnancy. A big boy, 8lbs 8oz, very active, with a strong heartbeat. My husband and I tried for almost 2 years and with some help (IUI)...John Anthony (our first child) was on his way. I had to have an emergency C-section bc his heart rate started to depress. My husband and I had to listen to 20 minutes of CPR until a crying nurse came to me and said we are so very sorry but he didn't make it. We have found great comfort in our support group, friends and family, and visiting the cemetery, but I have cried every day for 10 weeks and 3 days. So many little things have happened since that aren't helping matters. For example, I was at an auction for my school,I am a teacher, and out of about 300 people, I happen to be sitting in front of a woman who was in my lamaze class who delivered a beautiful baby boy (a month early) on my original due date August 26th. I only know all this bc of the celebration my end of the table was having for her. I, of course, don't say anything bc I don't want to be the kill joy in the room.. So I hold it in and cry in the car on my way home. I'm looking forward to group this week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 2:49pm

Hello, John Anthony's Mom, My name is Star I wanted to say how very sorry I am...I wish I could say it gets better, but I dont really know? I am new at this and grieving as well..I lost my Son Nolan Jeffrey on Sept 15, your story sounds very close to mine..and I know how hard the metal pain on top of your body trying to heal from a C-Sec..and my breast drying up and I just wanted to curl up and cry all day. For me I have other kids at home so I have to pull it together for them. Eveybody tells me how strong I am? But no one see's the women who crys in the shower everyday or in the car when IM alone..It took me

Lilypie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 4:07pm

Hi Star, I'm Christina and thanks for responding so quickly. I, too, have had the exact same experience at the supermarket, bank, 7-11, and even at work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2007
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 11:52pm

I am Heather and I just wanted to tell both of you that I am so very sorry for your losses.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 11:18am

Hi Christina and Heatheranne, thanks for your condolences Heather..and words of encouragement. I know it will ease up and I will feel happy without so much guilt again. I guess the process of greif has to run it course. I know what you both mean about people and all the pittiful looks, and wispers "shes the lady thats baby died!!". Even in the hospital the staff was so good to me God Bless nurse "Karen".But all the looks!, and my friends the ones who don't call anymore? and my niece who is expecting twins in March and deleted me off her

Lilypie
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 4:18pm

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your son and send you lots of (((HUGS))).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 4:54pm

Thanks so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2009
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 6:51pm

Hi John Anthony's mommy.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 9:36pm
Hi Nadia, I'm Christina. Thank you so much. I find great comfort in knowing that our children have each other in heaven. One day at a time seems to be what I keep telling myself. Much love...xoxo