Feel like I'm drowning... vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Feel like I'm drowning... vent
4
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 2:45pm

I am so emotional today. 7 months ago today, we lost Kimberly. Along with losing her, you all know the roller coaster of emotions that are experienced.


But, today I feel like I am drowning, I have been teary eyed all day, feel like I can cry at any moment. The anxiety of the holidays is breathing down my neck... the stress of work is getting really bad for both DH and I. I don't know what else to do about my emotions. DH knows I am upset about holidays and so is he.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2008
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 5:58pm

I think that considering adoption is a fabulous idea!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2007
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 8:10am

Danielle, your message hit home with me today.

Mimi

*Remembering Our Angel Baby Edward Scott  4/

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 9:04am

Danielle,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here, since I mostly just lurk on this board, although I posted a bit a few months back. Like you, we've gone through one m/c and a full term loss. We lost our angel Stephen in May. We had gone through some IF treatments and then decided to pursue adoption. After we started the adoption process, we got pg with Stephen.

After losing Stephen, we did ttc for a couple of months, then decided to continue on with our plans to adopt. TTC was just too much for me, and I really didn't have it in me to face that disappointment every month, or to go through further IF treatments.

Anyhow, now we're matched with a mom who is due in January... we are so excited, but of course nervous. What if she changes her mind? The adoption process is tough. It's a rollercoaster ride. But there IS a baby at the end...not an IF we have a baby but a WHEN we have a baby, KWIM? There is a lot of comfort and hope in knowing that.

As for your in-laws...ugh. I think you have to do what's best for YOU and DH and hope your in-laws get over it. Just my 2 cents.

So, I just thought I'd give you a little perspective about adopting. You can e-mail me if you want, and there's an awesome adoption board here at ivillage too.

Hugs to you as get through the holidays!!!

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Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
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thank you Kellee for my a
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 10:38am

Danielle- I'm so sorry your sweet little girl isn't with you and your DH this Christmas. I went through a lot of those feelings last Christmas right after we lost Caleb. This year I feel more "at peace" (if there is such a thing) with my loss and more discouraged over the fact that we haven't been able to get pregnant again. The holidays are all about family and it's hard to see everyone else so happy when we hurt so much. I will pray for the Lord to give you strength so that you can make it through the next few weeks.


As far as the adoption issue, I think it's beautiful that you and your husband are considering that. There are so many children that need good, loving homes and it sounds like you and your DH can provide that. I'm guessing no one in his family has ever really struggled with infertility and the desire to love a child of their own the way that we all have. I encourage you to try to discuss that with them. If they are still unwilling to accept your choice then that's sad for them. But don't let it stop you from doing what's in your heart.


I really hope we both get our BFP's in 2010. Please know you will be on my heart and mind.

~Summer, mommy to Caleb Patrick born into Heaven on 10/2/08


http://summerbrandon.blogspot.com/

~Summer, mommy to Caleb Patrick born into Heaven on 10/2/08

http://summerbrandon.blogspot.com/