Hi, I'm new to the board...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Hi, I'm new to the board...
9
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:35pm
Hi,

I am new here! My name is Dana and my son, Grant, was stillborn at 37 weeks on March 7, 2002. We have no idea why he died, other than it was God's will. I had a perfect pregnancy and when he was born, he was absolutly perfect - except for the fact that he wasn't breathing. It was all very sudden. He was fine that morning, but by the evening, I noticed that he was not moving. We went to the hospital and when we had the u/s, we heard the most heart shattering word's I think I will EVER hear, "There's no heartbeat". We were totally blind-sighted. We really think that it was a cord accident because when I delivered him, his cord was wrapped in a figure-8 around his ankles. We were told that it was possible that it had caused the cord to kink and cut off the oxygen. We will never really know if that was the true cause or not, but that's what we think happened.

It has been over 13 months and I think I am finally ready to ttc. I have "baby fever" so bad but I really try not to let it consume me. I don't know anythng about charting but I plan to start with my next cycle (around April 24). My dh really doesn't want to know when it's "peak" time, his plan is that "when it happens, it happens". I don't know, maybe it's different for men.

Anyway, I just wanted to say "Hello". I know I'm gonna need lots of support because the whole process of ttc will be bittersweet.

I look forward to getting to know you all better (but if some of you get + and leave before I get the chance to know - then that is WONDERFUL :)

God bless,

Dana

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 10:16pm
Hi Dana, I'm going to the millionth person to tell you that I am very sorry for the loss of your son. You sound like you are ready though to try again. Welcome to the TTC board-- we'll help you along if we can. :) My DH also had a problem with losing some spontanity during TTC; a lot of men do. I would just try to relax and see what happens the first few months and you can get more aggressive if needed later--LOL. Charting will help because you will know and can just "attack" him when the time is right. He won't know what hit him. If you need anything just let us know. (((HUGS)))

Love, Robyn

Vincent(10), Tori(3), Jason b/s 11/5/01 @21wks- cord accident, Patrick m/c@ 16wks 3/27/02- cord and growth problems, baby girl due in May 03 :)

Avatar for cinnamongirl99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 9:59am
Hi Dana, I'm so sorry that you lost your precious son, Grant.

It is really wonderful that you are ready to try again, and have decided to join our group. For very good information on charting & temping, and to set up your own online chart, go to http://www.fertilityfriend.com It's free (though there's a more detailed membership for a small fee, but the free membership is all you'll need).

You should also get your hands on a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility"(I got it from my library). You'll quickly become an expert on your body's signals, and then you'll know when it's "peak" time even if DH doesn't! My DH kind of wanted to be kept in the dark about the process, but he has gradually become much more involved and even finds it very interesting.

Best of luck to you, Dana. Please let us know if you have any more questions.

Jessie, mom to Olivia (b/s 9/15/01 @ 39 weeks) m/c 7/18/02 @ 5 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 6:32pm
Hello welcome and good luck. I am also ttc only I am not waiting very long. My daughter was stillborn 2-11-03 at 38 weeks. We also were told the same reason for her death was probably a kink in the cord, cuz nothing else was found. She was perfect, only she didnt have a heartbeat. In the morning she was alive and by night she was gone. It is a sudden and heart-breaking thing. She was my first child and I feel the need to have another baby asap. It is good that u went through a year of grieving. I am so lost and confused. Take care!
Avatar for cklewis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 10:44am
Oh Dana, my heart just goes out to you. First of all, your situation is so much like mine. My little girl was perfect too, her heart just stopped, and no one knows why for sure. And secondly, my DH's name is Grant, and I love that name, and he's the only person I know with that name so I identify very strongly with it.

I hope we can offer you comfort, information, and wisdom. I'll pray for you today that God will make His love graciously clear to you.

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Camille, Mom of 4 in Heaven

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 12:25pm
Hi,

I hope you have a baby in your arms soon. As for the one year of grieving I have gone through, it really did help a lot - but it wasn't really by choice. I really wanted to try again last July/Auguest and went for a routine physical in June. At the physical, I tested positive that I had been EXPOSED to tb - I didn't have the infection but had been exposed (I asked how and they said someone had coughed on me - yuck - and it could have even happened while standing in line at Wal-Mart or a grocery store). I had to take medicine for 6 months (August 23 '02-Feb 23 '03) and could not get preg. while on the medication. The good news is that the tb "germ" I was exposed to is gone and I can now proceed with ttc. It was really hard when I found out that I had to wait 6 months. I really felt so cheated. I know that it was wrong to feel that way, but God really new best becuase I don't think that I was really ready because I was still in shock mode from Grant's death. Anyway, I grieved the most for Grant 4-6 months AFTER his death. Grieving really is different for everyone. For me, I guess I was trying to be strong for everyone else. When things got back to normal and everyone was okay, I guess my subconscience said "Okay, now you can grieve".

Thank you for letting me share. I will pray for your and your healing and for a SCREAMING baby in your arms - SOON!!!

God Bless,

Dana

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 12:27pm
Thank you for the info. I will check out the website and the book. I am so excited!

Thanks,

Dana

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 12:31pm
We loved the name Grant too. Grant was my first pick and Riley was my husband's first pick, so we named him Grant Riley. I don't think there are many Grant's out there, but there is one other Grant at my church (he's about 5). Thank you so much for your prayers - they are the most important! I pray that you will be blessed with a live, healthy baby SOON.

Thanks,

Dana

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 3:13pm
your story sounds just like mine.iam very sorry for the loss of your son.i know everybody is different but i can honestly say i know how you are feeling.i just loss my son to a possible cord acci. in feb.and i am starting to try again already.being pregnant changed my life,and with god's blessing im hopeing to be that way again soon.good luck to you and god bless you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 7:52pm
Welcome to the board Dana. I am sorry you have to be here, but hope you find support and comfort here. I agree with you about those words...I can still hear my doctor tell me 'there is no heartbeat' as clear as the day she said them. My heart skips a beat and I get a chill everytime I think of it. I hope your stay here is short. Good luck TTC!

Patricia