How do I handel the fear?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
How do I handel the fear?
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 7:06pm
I'm new to this site and thought I could get some help before we start ttc again. We lost our little girl, Skylar, on march 6 2010. Just days after my husband and I were married. We'd been trying to have a baby for over 2 years and when we finally found out we were expecting we were so excited. We moved our wedding up so we'd be a family before she arrived. My pregnancy was uneventful and every visit the Dr. told me everything was great, I was in complete denial when at only 24 weeks my cervix failed and I went into premature labor. My daughter died during delivery. We decided at the hospital we wanted to try again as soon as we can. We haven't been to our postpartum checkup so I don't know when we can start again but i do know i will be waiting until after her due date. I cant be pregnant before she was suppose to be here. I guess I'm here because I don't know how to deal with the fear. I'm a natural worry wart even when things are going as planned. I'm scared my fear could actually harm any future pregnancies. How do I deal with the possibility that things could go wrong again? I know a little about the preventive measures they want to take to ensure my cervix stays in place next time, but what if it doesn't? How do I manage the what ifs? Sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm just confused as to what happens next.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 7:48am

Welcome sweetie. I am so so sorry for your loss.

I would definately bring up your desire to get pregnant at your next check up. USually they say you can start after you have had a couple regular periods.

It is great that you are aware of what caused you to go into labour and that they have measures they can take to help make sure you dont go into early labour again.

The fear, well, that takes time. The best thing i can tell you to do is to take care of yourself right now. Allow yourself to grieve and heal. Maybe see if you can get some grief counselling. That was the best thing I ever did. These will all help you deal with the fear of losing another child.

I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant again. I was so happy, and sp scared. But, I slowly realised that this was a new pregnancy and that helped me deal with the fear.

How are you feeling?

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 2:09pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

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