I can't believe what my husband said...
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|Sat, 12-12-2009 - 10:52pm|
So long story short my husband and I were talking about my MIL who made a spur of the moment trip to my SIL/BIL house out of state. And then told me today that they were not coming here for xmas. They've come here for every Christmas for the last ten years! Supposedly we are not exchanging gifts either because they are short on cash. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what, but I think she is pregnant. I think they are trying to not upset me so they are avoiding me or not wanting to make x-mas awkward (they have been trying). But anyways, so we were talking and I brought up the idea to him. Now we were texting cause he is deployed. And he said to me "why would it bother you?" Ummm, it hasn't even been 3 months since our baby died. And I tried to explain the best I could, it does still bother me that I am not pregnant. I'm suppose to be 35 weeks at Christmas.
And then he says, "well baby she is better off". Referring to our baby Hope. She was diagnosed at 15 weeks with Turners Syndrome. A chromosome issue that would have effected her, her whole life. I cannot believe that he said this to me. I don't think our baby is better off dead. She would have been better off being born and having us as parents. I would have loved her and cared for her through thick and thin. He tried to explain that it is not what he meant. But the damage was already done.
I hated it when people told me after I lost her, how it was best for her and our family. And how it was meant to be. And then I have to hear it from my own husband? It's never a blessing to lose a child. If people don't know what to say, fine, don't say anything. But don't tell me, my daughter is better of dead.