Never going out

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Never going out
52
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 9:47am

Hello all,


It's been two weeks and two days since we said our goodbyes to our little one. This week has been a really hard a week. I found out what I thought was stretch marks was actually PUPPS. (A itchy rash caused by pregnancy.) The odds of getting this rash is like 1 out of 300 and most of the woman who get it have boys...and I had a girl!! The odds have so not been in my favor. I feel like I have been kicked when already down.


Yesterday I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
In reply to: elana2010
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 9:54am

I am so sorry you lost your little one. :(
I will be praying for you.
You may find these links helpful, I know I did:

The iVillage stillbirth message board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppstillborn
Stillbirth support group on Daily Support: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Stillbirth/support-group

And, of course, if and when you are ready to try and conceive, come back here or check out here as well: http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/ttc-after-stillbirth

I am on both of the stillbirth boards that I linked and my screen name is the same so feel free to message me there. There are so many helpful and comforting posts by so many women who are going through the same thing.

*hugs*

Katie

Lilypie Maternity tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: elana2010
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 1:22pm

Carissa, first I want to say I am so so sorry for your loss.


I was lurking over here reading through some of the posts and yours caught my eye.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 3:06pm

Carrisa,


I'm very sorry for your loss.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
In reply to: elana2010
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 7:37am

I am so sorry sweetie.


You have gotten some excellent advice. I wholeheartedly agree with everything that has been said.


Hugs.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 1:51pm

Hi,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 1:30pm

Hello,


I am completely in the same boat as you. I feel the same way! We were so excited about having alittle girl and she was the first little girl in the family on both sides. It has been difficult because my best friend and I had the same due date and where both having little girls. As the date comes closer and closer I am torn with both happiness for them and grief. I think about how we had plans to both come home at the same time from the hospital with our little ones. It has been difficult trying to get my emotions under control and be happy for her.


We too are waiting couple of months before we start trying again. I am nervous about this since last time it took 8 months to concieve and we finally did with the help of clomid. So hopefully this time will not take as long. We also had our test come back and everything was o.k. The problem was my placenta matured to quickly, they said this is something that they can monitor so we won't have the same outcome next time. I don't know if this would be too painful for you, but I was wondering what happened the first time and how far along you where. Because this was one of our worries when we start trying again that we would be put thru this again......


If you ever need anything at all or just need to talk, please feel free to write! It has been really helpful to me to talk to other woman who are going thru the same thing. Hope as each day passes things get easier for the both of us!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 2:39pm
hello,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2009
In reply to: elana2010
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 12:13pm

I am very sorry for your loss. We all know how bad that it hurts. I know that you will continue to hear this, but time is really the only thing that will make it easier. Your little girl will always have a special place in your heart. It has been 9 months since I had to say goodbye to my son, but a day doesn't go by that I don't think about him.

One thing that really helped my husband and I was that we had to take a trip to get away. We were fortunate enough that my husband's aunt had a beach house that she let us stay in for a few days, and then my MIL took us on a cruise. It was really nice to just get away from everything and be in a place where people did not know or or know what happened to us.

You have found a very good support group on here. Friends and famiy are great, but if they haven't been through what you have gone through, there will always be things that they don't understand. These girls on here have felt everything that you have and it always helps to know that you are not alone. I don't know if you have thought about this, but I went to a grief counselor and he really helped me alot too. My DH and I went to one session together, and then I went to a couple by myself. He gave me alot of advice that I still think about. One thing that he told me was that you should not do anything that your spirit tells you not to. I believe that is so true. Don't force yourself to do things that you don't want to. As I said earlier, time will help you get through this.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 1:28pm

I'm so sorry for all of us going thru this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
In reply to: elana2010
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 1:34am

I TOTALLY understand how you feel about it's people act weird around you when you go out. There are several places that I used to go that I don't want to go and have to explain what happened. I also know a lot of my friends are watching my making sure I am not going to have a mental breakdown at any moment. It's like always being under a spot light.


I find that during the day I feel much better. I don't know if it's the sun being out or what. I found myself today totally enjoying myself for the first time. My husband and I watched a movie in bed and went out to eat. For the first time in almost a month I felt like myself again. I found myself laughing with him and enjoying myself. But what I find hard are the nights. My husband drifts off to sleep and I am awake with my thoughts and tears. I am wondering when the nights won't be as hard for me....I am wondering if you are also having this problem and if so what you are doing that helps....


I understand as well your thoughts and fears on the test results. We finally got ours back last week. Everything checked out, we had no issues. But what keeps going thru my mind is...we worked so hard to get pregnant the first time. Thanks to fertility drugs and eight months of trying we were finally pregnant. I am so fearful that I too won't be able to get pregnant again, or if so will end up with the same heartbreaking outcome. Hopefully with time we both will be able to have a healthy pregnancy.


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