running out of time...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
running out of time...?
13
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:01pm
Ok so I know I am only 20 so I let me clarify this. It was 6 months ago yesterday since we said good-bye to Alexis. That's a whole half a year! I just knew I would be pregnant by now! DH's cousin is due on May 1st and the day we found out she was pg was the day of Alexis' funeral (AWFUL) well people on that side of the family had already gave us all their baby stuff and been buying us diapers like we already had 20 boxes! Well I had been holding onto it I just knew I would be pg by the time DH's cousin has her baby (which is a girl by the way :/ ) Well of course I am not so I loaded everything up on Monday and took it to her. A relief in a way I guess but just a horrible feeling all the same. I so badly wanted to have a baby right after we lost Alexis! DH even asked in the hospital while I was in labor if we could try again. We have been together since we were like 14 and I have never known 2 people to want children more than we do. We know not one single baby (that we are actually close too) that was planned and concieved before a marriage! We were the ones going to do things right and follow God's plan for our lifes! We wanted so much to be "good" so we would be blessed! So much for that I guess...
Well I got way off track there! But I was thinking the other day if I don't get pg on this cycle or the next not only will it maybe fall on Alexis' due date but we wouldn't have a baby in our arms until 2011 and that tought just scares me to death!
Sorry for rambling I guess I just needed to let it out this morning!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:58pm

I an right there w/ you.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 2:58pm

I'm sorry sweetie. Its the worst when our loved ones are having babies and we still arent pregnant. The worse.


HUGS. I pray you'll have a baby in your arms soon.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2008
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 4:57pm

giving your baby items away... is such an extreme bitter/sweet thing.... (if that even touches the surface)


i just wanted to share with you i did the same thing.


im married also... and we had a neighbor.. who had a daughter... give birth 3 days before i did.(she was only 16)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 1:59pm

I read your post, and I can't imagine packing up all my son's things and giving them away.

Glitter Text

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 6:13pm
Thanks Rachel. That is a great book suggestion.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 12:44am

I love that story. I love when sweet little reminders like that make us think it really was all meant to be! We are trying very hard not to loose the faith. I am a nurse and work almost every sunday and wednesday so church is getting really hard to attend which does not help anything. I have a pretty neat story too: A girl I work with, also went to nursing school with her, and knew her children when I was younger. Well her husband is a preacher and our religion we believe that we can talk to God and I know he answers up but not as much in an audible voice like in the bible days. Well about a month after we lost Alexis her son could not sleep because he kept thinking about my DH and I and also how badly we wanted a children. He said that somehow it was made known to him that one day we would have another baby and it would be a girl :) It made me tear up for sure and he is on my list of people I will tell right away the next time I am expecting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 12:45am
Thank you so much! The prayers are very much appreciated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 12:49am

Well I was a little selfish and kept all the item that DH and I and family member had bought for Alexis. I only gave away items that were handed down to me. We have 2 rubbermaid containers of baby clothes and also a bassinet just of her special stuff. And we only knew she was a girl 3 weeks prior to having her! She was spoiled already :)


It is so nice knowing that I am not the only one that has to go through this nightmare. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but it helps so much having you all :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 1:05am

Well I only was able to give away hand me downs. Nothing that anyone bought special just for her. She has a bassinet full of her special things :) I am waiting for my father in law to build her a toy box that he has been planing on since the day we told him I was expecting.


I love "meeting" other high school sweet hearts. I am so blessed with my husband. When we anouced we were getting married no one was shocked they had just all been expecting it. I love knowing that our marriage is somethign that some people have to search their whole lives for. What a blessing!!! I have alot of bad feelings because DH and I struggled with trying to save ourselves and were not always successful! I often wonder if it is a punishment, which deep down I know it's not. God is not going to kill my baby for choices that my dh and I made years ago. But we tried so hard and everyone we know was getting pg in high school and shortly after and most of those relationships are no longer together. Atleast we could have provided our baby loving parents who still loved each other.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 1:08pm
Thats wonderful sweetie!!!

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

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