Advice...new job-take C out of school?

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Registered: 12-31-1969
Advice...new job-take C out of school?
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Sun, 08-26-2012 - 9:48pm

Hi, you guys have known me for a while. Do you have advice for me? I did get the new job.  I will end my current job october 19 and will take a few weeks off. I had requested vacation in december over 1 year in advance, and now i am losing that privilege and dont know when I can take a vacay again. Also, my work has been tough on all of us. I leave before C wakes up, often am home when she is ready for bed.  SO i wanted to take her out for a few days and do a short trip when I have my time off. She goes to a (very expensive) NYC private school. The policy stated is that there are no excused absences except for illness or religious reasons.  She is only in 1st grade... Should I ask? Or just call in sick? (school is closed Nov 1 so was thinking oct 31 and nov 2).  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 5:13am

Congratulations!   I know that has to be a relief.

I have pulled my DDs out of school each year.    However, mine are not in private school.   

For us, if they miss 3 days in a row or more - they send home a letter asking why, and letting you know there can be penalties with continued truancy issues.    But at this age, it has never gone beyond the letter.   And I simply respond with "they were out of town with their family".    They start 3rd grade today - they will miss 2 days of school at Thanksgiving (our district only gives them Wednesday - Friday off).   And then in March they will miss 3 days.   I will get a letter for the March absences.   I did make sure their absences does not interfere with the State testings, but that is it.

I agree with Melissa.   I find it hard to imagine 2 days would be a big deal.  Especially with it being a private school instead of a public one that gets paid for daily attendance.    I also agree with her that you might consider asking another parent - or maybe even your DDs teacher.

With you not being sure of when you'll get family time again, I hope this all works out! 

 

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 11:23am
I would just be honest with the school. We've taken Ian out for a trip before, and the absence was considered unexcused. That meant that whatever work he missed, when he turned it in it would be considered late. They also don't give assignments out early to take on vacation, so he really had to work hard to turn it all in when we got back. I'd talk to the school about what happens with an unexcused absence.

Avatar for gtpoohbear
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 1:03pm

At first grade I can't imagine they would really be all that strict about it, especially if you explain the situation and how you don't know when you will have another chance. It would seem just cruel for them to tell you that you couldn't go without horrible consequences! My worry about telling them she is sick is that either you have to coach her on "how to lie", which doesn't set a great example, or know that she may very well spill the beans after you get back.

I taught public school for many years, and while there was a very strict attendance policy with specific things that were excused absenses, the reality was that as long as the kid wasn't skipping (i.e, the parent was aware and approved of the absense), then it was marked excused with very few questions asked. So sometimes what they have on paper and what they actually do may be very different. It is definitely worth asking. Maybe even go in person to talk to her teacher or the principal, it's harder to say no to someone's face! Good luck and congrats on the job!

Cool Jaime (Me) **** Laughing Brian (DH) **** Smile Lily (DD-11) **** Tongue OutOwen (DS-4)




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2002
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 9:55am
I was going to say (before I saw you already had some sort of answer) - just because it's "unexcused" doesn't mean you can't go. The schools we've been at have allowed up to 10 unexcused absences per year. (Yes, you still send a note and explain the absence, just that they don't have to officially "excuse" it - whatever that means.) In Kindergarten, the teacher said "no worries - it's important for her to spend time with family" (even though the school policy was that it was unexcused). In 1st grade, the teacher just said that she preferred we not miss Fridays (if possible) because that's when she did testing.

Definitely take the trip, if that's what you want to do! :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2002
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 9:55am
Oh, and congrats on the new job!!! I hope your new schedule will be a little easier on the family!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 6:31am

Friviolous?!   No.   It's family bonding.   It's celebrating a new job.    It's a memory maker for your daughter.   In other words, it's all good.   :smileywink:

I'm so glad to read it all went well.

It is odd that they don't want your DD to know ahead of time - but I guess they are trying to reduce any other kids getting upset.    But she is young, so they are going to know when she gets back.

 

 

  

Avatar for gtpoohbear
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 9:17am

Definitely not frivolous!!! Finding a way to spend quality time together as a family is never frivolous unless you are truly being financially irrisponsible, which I know you are not.

I have to say though, and no offense meant to your principal, but it really isn't her place to tell you that you have to keep the trip a secret. That is a decision that every family makes for themselves. Some kids don't do well with surprises. (My DD would be furious with me if I did that to the point that she probably wouldn't even enjoy the trip)

If you think she would love a surprise trip, then by all means do it, but don't keep it a secret just because the principal told you that you had to, that's not right! And I really doubt that a 1st grader is going to be able to go to Disney World and NOT tell her friends about it afterwards, lol!. I get that she doesn't want the whole school to start asking for exceptions, but she is also setting up a very difficult situation by basically asking your DD to lie about where she was during that time. But I wouldn't worry about it, by then you'll have gone already and if she accidentally spills the beans in class, oh well!

Sounds like an awesome trip in the works, happy planning!!!

Cool Jaime (Me) **** Laughing Brian (DH) **** Smile Lily (DD-11) **** Tongue OutOwen (DS-4)




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 8:05am

OOOOOOOH the Dream (drool).    How fun.   Non refundable as you are under the 75 day mark?    Very exciting!

 

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 9:59am

Kim (Davidsgirl) did a trip report last year on her Disney Dream cruise - I'm sure it's on this board too.    You are going to have a blast.   It looks like an awesome ship!

 

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2002
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 1:07pm
How super-exciting!!!!!! I'm so glad you're doing it - you'll all have a wonderful time together!

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