Question on a boy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2002
Question on a boy
2
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 12:20pm

I have 2 boys in our pack (of only 5) who have the same birthday... May 28, 2003.  One is in 4th grade and a Webelos, one is in 3rd grade and a Bear. The 3rd grader was held back because he was adopted from another country as a baby and for well over a year, he has been in psychiatric treatment including a month long stay (all of September) at a residential treatment facility.  Due to his violent outbursts at home that are often triggered by them asking him to do homework and chores, his parents are not willing to work on scout rank requirments with him at home at this time and he often misses meetings due to behaviour.  He has an older brother in the scout troop and a younger brother who didn't join this year as a Tiger because there was nobody else his age to join our pack.

My question is- would you still work with him as a Bear (he has completed next to nothing so far and it's already mid-December).  He is unlikely to complete the rank.  Or would you (maybe even without his knowledge) start keeping track of Webelos rank stuff since he is the exact same age as the only Webelos scout and likely to move to Boy Scouts when that child does?  This would be done now because you know it takes him so long to complete anything because he rarely gets the chance to work on scout stuff.  He wouldn't know the difference because all 5 kids will be treated to pretty much the same activities throughout the next year anyway.  OR- what is the guidelines for having a child with special needs achieve rank for Bear under these circumstances?  I have gotten NO answer from my district staff regarding this.  I don't like to see a child being left out- but I understand the need to have them fail sometimes and learn from that... I just don't know what's best for him at this age and how this would progress to Boy Scouts.

Also- we don't want to lose him because then we wouldn't have the needed 5 kids to make a Cub Pack.

-Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2002
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 9:35am

They can join a Boy Scout troop at age 11, whether or not they have been a cub, or earned the webelos or arrow of light ranks.  He will be turning 11 in the spring of 4th grade because he was held back.  

I just finally spoke to a very knowledgeable lady from council who came to roundtable because she was helping to accept recharters (because 3 of the 4 district staff were not able to come- one at camp school for 2 weeks, one recalled to military service, and one at her son's christmas program at school).  She said that at the cub level there is nobody that we have to "clear" modifications to the program with.  As long as the den leader and the parent agree that the cub scout has done his best job in whatever he had done that even somehow relates to the program, that's fine.  So for this child if it says something like prepare yourself a meal, and clean up... then whatever the normal family expectations are for this child would be fine (maybe just to clear the table instead of washing the plates at this point???) as an example.  And for his age, it would be fine to have him work on webelos stuff now... (especially considering he really hasn't - according to mom- done any of the requirements for bear yet).  So, I'll have to talk to her and see what they want to do and how they want to move forward with him... but at least now, I know what is and is not possible.

As far as getting more kids in the pack- that's always an option, but seeing as how we are down to only 5 and there are 3 other packs in close proximity... I'm not very hopeful anymore.  We have only been able to recruit about 6 boys in the last 3 year plus steal 1 family from another pack that we lost again this year.  The one pack close by is showing about 20 kids per den now and the two other packs locally are doing ok.

-Jen

Avatar for beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-1998
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 4:20pm

That is tough.   Although, can he even move to Boy Scouts if he is only in 4th grade, which if I'm understanding is how it will be for him next year?

Are all your kids older?    I can't imagine how all 5 kids would be doing the same stuff if you have different ages and is it possible you will get more kids next year?  New Tigers?

My first inclination would be to say to not start having him work on Webelos stuff now unless I suppose you just want to move him up to Webelos rank completely bypassing the Bear rank.

Becky - Mom to Carolyn (17), Aaron (15), Kyle (11) & Luke (8)
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