Deciding to Have More Than One?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Deciding to Have More Than One?
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 1:31pm

If you are feeling pressured to have a second child, but really don't think that it's something you want to do, Huffington Post has a good article about the benefits of having an only child:

This mother of one sums up the feelings of many who believe a singleton is right for them. To have one child she feels is "seen as selfish, because children are the ultimate sacrifice. Those of us who attempt to make the best of all aspects of our worlds are often seen as greedy because we want it all. I WANT and love my child more than anything, but I also WANT a career and I really WANT a happy marriage. Adding another child to our lives would directly affect two of the three things that have the greatest impact on my happiness quotient."

Turns out she is onto something. There's no question that people with children are happier -- happier than those without children. But, how many? Increasing evidence shows that mothers of one are happier than parents with more than one child. Hans-Peter Kohler, a University of Pennsylvania researcher, discovered that second and third children don't increase happiness. His study of 35,000 adult identical twins in Denmark showed that "additional children beyond the first child have no effect for fathers [in relation to happiness]" and that more children make mothers less happy. Kohler and other researchers agree -- the more children you add to the family, the more stress you add to the adult relationship.

I agree with the author that additional children does come with added stress on your marriage.