Family Pressure?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Family Pressure?
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 3:40pm

Does pressure from your family play into your decision on when or if to have a baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 10:36am
OK, second question first. I got a lot of unsolicited input up to my late 30's. It ebbed and flowed over time, spiking at my 2nd and 5th anniversaries, and when I turned 30. Turning 30 was the worst! When I was in my 20's, people were more understanding, because I was newly married, and presumably wanted to enjoy some couple time before "starting a family" (sorry, I started a family when I got married), or that I wanted to establish my career first. But at 30, I had been married over 5 years and had a full-time position in my chosen field. Evidently, a lot of people thought I should be "growing up and settling down". Also, I was getting to the age where my eggs were nearing their expiration date in a lot of people's minds.

By this time, it was clear to both my hubby and I that we didn't want kids, and that made people more uncomfortable than I had expected it to be. I wasted a lot of time hedging my answers and trying to change the subject. Then, I wasted more time trying to explain (or justify) myself, and getting angry in the process. Finally, we just started telling people that our procreative decision were a private matter, and if we felt we needed to discuss it, we'd let them know. Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary. It was very freeing!

To answer your first question, no, my family played absolutely no part in our decision on wether or not to have kids. We figured that they aren't raising the kids. It isn't going to be their responsibility. Why should they factor into the decision?