Hard decision to make... Help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Hard decision to make... Help?
5
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 12:15pm

Hi.

I am a young woman, 26 and I have a great relationship with my bf for almost 8 years now. He is 29.

We live together in our own house in the country.

Lately I have been thinking whether I want to have children or not. I think it is a very important decision to make,

and I have been told that my life will change if I have kids?

I would very much like to hear from you, what you think.

Why should I have kids?

I'm just serching for a little help, so I can make my decision.

Thank you so much! :-)

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 4:51pm
Hi there! That's a tough question, and it really depends on the individual. Kids do change your life a lot, you can't be selfish anymore because there is someone that you have to take care, that needs to come first. That doesn't mean that you have to totally give yourself over to motherhood, but they do tend to become a priority. They can bring a lot to your life. The feeling of creating and nurturing this little person, watching them grow and learn, can be amazing. If you are unsure about it, I would give it some time. Good luck making your decision!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 8:02am
Thanks for your reply :-)
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 12:56pm
You are very welcome! What does your boyfriend think about it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 1:09pm
Parenting is tough. It can make you want to pull your hair out at times, but I feel like I've become a better person after having children. I'm more empathetic and understanding of others. I don't feel my life would be complete without kids. It's like being part of a big chain that started before my parents, and continuing that heritage. Might sound dorky, but I feel stronger ties to my family now that I did when I was childless :)

On the other hand, there are many very happy child-free couples out there. It just depends on the person and how they feel that children would fit into their life.

Chelsea

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 12:04am

Hi there,

I have been having that conversation with myself for many years, and I have chosen to wait.