Have some concerns.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Have some concerns.
6
Fri, 03-23-2012 - 11:11pm

So my bf and I have recently decided, as of the end of April/Early May I will be stopping my birth control pills and we are simply going to see what happens! We don't plan to actually try for a baby, we aren't aimiming for a specific month or anything for when I'd be pregnant, were just going to let nature do it's thing.Anyways I am not concerned about pregnancy itself, I understand what comes along with it, the process etc, although I am concerned with after. I have seen people who have had children and after giving birth they were left with saggy, wrinkly, disgusting stomachs and lots of stretch marks.Also

Avatar for cupcakebabe
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 4:44pm

Wow. I'm not sure where to begin, being as I'm a mom. With apparently a disgusting, gross body. Oh, maybe with a loud "Grow up!"

I'm sorry, but it does not sound like you are ready to be a mom at all. Are you thinking about marriage? Are you engaged? Why would you bring a baby into a relationship--knowingly--when other aspects of the relationship aren't in place?

And wow, I just can't get over this. If you are more concerned about your body after having the baby rather than the baby itself, seriously, I think you need to think this through more thoroughly.

It also concerns me that you have such a rotten attitude towards body image. Everyone has their opinion, but holy cow, I'd really feel bad if, heaven forbid, something wasn't perfect with your little one. I can invision it being tossed to the side because it's disgusting.

You don't have to let yourself go and not take care of yourself. But things do happen to your body. And when it's the right time for you to have a baby, what your body looks like after the baby won't even be a speck of a thought in your head. It will be all about the baby. As it should be.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 10:28am
Have you spoken to your doctor about your concerns? You might also talk to a qualified personal trainer about getting into shape before your pregnancy, and what it would take to get back in shape after. Your body will inevitably go through some changes, but taking an active part in making your body the best it can be should make you feel more comfortable. And keep in mind that presumably your bf will love his child. Why would he not love the imperfect body that brought it into the world?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 1:09pm
I'm not trying to be harsh, but are you really sure you are ready for children? This sentence really stood out to me "There is no way I could allow myself to sacrafice my body for something like that. "

Parenting is all about sacrifice. You are no longer number 1 in your life, you have a baby who's needs will be more important for quite awhile. While it doesn't mean that you have to totally give up your identity and self worth, it does mean that baby's needs come first. Baby doesn't care if you haven't had a full nights sleep in months, that you haven't been to the gym or if you've even showered that day. Babies are very selfish creatures, which means you don't get to be!

It is possible to eat right, exercise, and be healthy during your pregnancy, that would help to keep the weight gain to a manageable level, but that doesn't mean you won't have stretch marks, deflated boobs and a pouch. Your body has to stretch to accommodate your growing baby, it's just a part of becoming a mother. It takes 9 months for your body to get that way, and it can take just as long to get it back to "normal". There are some things that will never be back to normal. Your hips might be wider, your feet could be bigger, and that stomach will never be quite as flat. The way you are describing how worried you are about how your body will look afterwards makes me question whether you are truly ready. Btw, I'm not sure if a c-section would be easier on your stomach, but I'm doubtful about that since they'll be cutting through muscle. To me, this is just another example of you thinking more of what's best for you and not your future baby. There are lots of risks involved with c-sections, is how your stomach looks more important than considering that?

I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you and your bf in such a hurry to have a baby? You are still young, maybe you need a few years of living baby-free before taking on the commitment. If you do decide that you can live with what happens to your body, you might want to schedule a physical with your ob/gyn. At your height and the way you describe your body, I would be concerned about your BMI. If it's too low, you could have troubles conceiving.

 photo abbysummer_zps85da8a35.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2008
Thu, 04-12-2012 - 2:35pm

Nnnnyeahhh, I'm going to bet this is made up or at least posted to get a rise out of people.

Winifred (Winnie) Marie, 7/1/09

Susannah Margaret, 5/18/12

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 3:07pm

To whom it may concern,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 3:30pm

Really? Please....I did post in my original that not everyone has the issues I mentioned.