Husband is ready for kids but I have some kinks to work out...need advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2011
Husband is ready for kids but I have some kinks to work out...need advice.
3
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:37am

I've always wanted kids and said I wanted to have my first one by the time I'm thirty(I‘m 26 now). My husband(28 yrs) wanted kids eventually but showed no interest until just a few days ago. He went out to have a beer with his boss who told him if you wait till the perfect time you’ll never have kids because no time will ever be “perfect”. That got him to really thinking and with his birthday coming up he ran home to tell me to stop taking my birth control he was ready for kids. First I had to over come the shock of his sudden epiphany. Then came all the scenarios in my head. I had imagined that when I had my first baby It would be in my home town with my mom(a nurse)there and all my best friends and family would come to visit my husband and I and our new baby. Then afterwards my mom would be able to stay with me as long as I needed till I was comfortable to care for my baby without her. But that’s not so logical now, my husbands motivation to move up within his company has moved us 4 times in the last 5 years. We are now about an hour and forty-five minutes away from my hometown and I agreed if that’s the closest I was going to get to home then I’d settle down here. But the idea of having a

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011
Personally, I think you should have the baby locally instead of your hometown, but ultimately you should do what makes you feel comfortable. You are not only thinking about delivery, but also all of your appointments during your pregnancy. Are you going to feel up to 3-4 hour drive when you are 32-38 weeks pregnant when you are going bi-weekly or weekly? Will you want to do that drive when you are in labor? It will be harder on your husband, he won't be able to go home as easily while you are in the hospital and it will make it harder for him at attend your appointments. If there is an emergency, you won't be familiar with any of the obs on the local hospital staff. Also keep in mind that you might not want anyone to come see you at the hospital the first day or two, depending on how you are feeling.

I can totally get wanting to be by your family when you have your baby, I lived in another state from both sets of parents when our kids were born. It does make it hard, but we made it work. My mom came out the first week or so, and then my MIL stayed with us later on. You can still do special things with your family and friends in your hometown such as baby showers and a baby greeting party afterwards, and I'm sure they'll all be more than willing to make the drive to see you! I had to make a choice whether to stick with our smaller town hospital or go to the bigger one an hour away, and I went with the local one. It was the right decision to make for me, made our lives much easier.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2011

Thank you for your

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011

I could see where your lung problem really throws a curve in your planning, and understand why you want to be near doctors you are comfortable with. You will probably have to see a perinatologist since I would assume you'd be high risk? If you can see all the doctors you want in your hometown, and they are covered (along with the hospital) under your insurance, than it might be worth it for you.

How will your husband feel about you being gone for so long?

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