My husband is younger than me.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
My husband is younger than me.....
6
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 1:40pm

So my husband is 26 and I am soon to be 33. We have been married 1 year and everything is great! We are about to move into a house!!

But he is so not ready to TTC. And I soooo am. I have given up trying to talk to him about it (2 months of me not saying anything) because when I did, he would say that's all I ever think about and would question me repeatedly about whether I had taken my BC pills. Like I would stop taking them and not tell him!!!!

So now the only time we talk about having kids is when we see something on TV or someone we know is pregnant/has kids. So very general, in the future type conversations.

Last night, he actually said he thought when he have a baby, I would stop paying attention to him, not have any time for him. And he said his useful would be over. Like I only married him for his sperm!! I was shocked and said I would never ignore him and that it would be like that. But he just said "well, I hope not." :(

How can I talk to him about TTC soon? I am running out of time!! I want to have 2-3 children. He said that was what he wanted to also BEFORE we got married. We talked about a time line but never agreed on when to start TTC. Needless to say, mine is much shorter than his.

babies
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 3:28pm

Welcome to the board:


Sorry you and DH aren't on the same page with TTC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 1:46pm

Well, I wish there were easy answers for how to get men on board with TTC, but unfortunately when they're not ready, or don't want kids, it's hard to know what direction to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 7:58pm

I can relate to your feeling like you are running out of time.

 




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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:06am

Hi

I know how you feel :/ . I was in a long (14 year) relationship and even when I was 30 and my then-fiance 32, he was never ready. The relationship finally ended (for many reasons) and now I am married to someone who really wants me and my future children :). I do NOT mean that you should think about a divorce, no. I just wanted to tell you that I think I know how it feels when you really want a child and the other one doesn´t. And the time is running..

What I think you should do is to sit down and try to discuss, what your husband really is afraid of. Where has he got the idea that once you get a child, your happy life together is over? From his childhood? Try to think of ways to avoid that. Like plan that you get a babysitter once a month and go somewhere, just the two of us.. Maybe it would help him if he knew there are ways to be together just with you even after having a baby. Also, try to find out if he understands the fact that a woman has a limited time when she can get pregnant..

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:43am

Just wanted to update everyone that has been so supportive and encouraging. My husband and I talked again last night and it went pretty well....

He said that he wants to wait until we have been married 2 years. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that we need to wait at least until Jan 2008 before TTC. We have the house to move into and get settled. And then I am working on finishing a certification program, which I need to take exams and complete required work hours. With all of that, we need to wait until at least Jan 2008 before TTC.

I think we are more on the same page than I thought we were!! Surprise surprise! :)

babies
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 10:39am
I didn't read this post before responding to the last one....I wish I had :).

 




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