Pregnant, but DH's attitude is depressing

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Registered: 04-24-2011
Pregnant, but DH's attitude is depressing
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Mon, 09-19-2011 - 10:12am

I found out I was pregnant last week and to be honest, I'm scared and happy. I'm about 5 weeks along, and I haven't gone to the doc yet. The thing is, my DH doesn't want children. Yesterday we were talking

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Registered: 04-24-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 1:03pm

The last couple of days have been very difficult, causing a lot of tears. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for next week and told my DH. He said he'll try and make it (he's a soldier, so his work hours are mostly unpreditcable). At that point, half of me want him to come with me, and the other half doesn't. This should be a happy time in my life, but it's just mostly depressing and stressful. *SIGH*

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 4:05pm
I think you need to just give him some time to adjust. Men don't always adapt to change as easily, and he might need some space to get used to it. Can you refrain from talking about the pregnancy for a couple of weeks? You've still got time to plan for it and think of names. Maybe if he isn't feeling pressured about the baby he'll get more relaxed and you can work on getting him to be more responsive to you. (((HUGS))), I know it's not easy, it might be better if he doesn't go to the doctors appointment with you. Wait until there is more to see like a later ultrasound.

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Registered: 04-24-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 4:39pm

He's the one who's actually being talking a lot about the baby and thus freaking himself out. I've been trying to be cool about it since I found out I was pregnant because I know he's not pleased. We're not really speaking not because he's worked himself up in a tither and we've argued several times. Well, if I tell him not to come to the doctor's appointment, that might spark another argument, and I really can't take any more stress right now. So after the appointment, we'll see how the rest goes. I don't expect him to change his mind on his feelings after the appointment. I've pretty much resigned myself to raising this baby by "myself" and my family. My family will be thrilled I'm pregnant and that's something to look forward to:smileyvery-happy:.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 10:27am
I'm sorry :(

The first appointment they might do a pap smear depending on when you've had your last one, since you won't be able to get another one until after the baby is born. They might take blood draws then or set up an appointment for it. They'll calculate a due date based on the first day of your last menstrual period, so have that date handy along with how long your cycle is normally. You may or may not get an ultrasound. it's still pretty early so they may schedule one for around 8 weeks, although some doctors make you wait until 18. They'll get you started on prenatal vitamins and there could be some talk on diet. If you have any questions, write them down on a list and take it with you so you don't forget any. Let us know how your appointment goes.

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Registered: 04-24-2011
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 10:36am

Thanks for the advice Melissa. I will start putting that list of questions together tonight. Excited, but scared lol. Yeah, I'll let y'all know how the appointment goes. Trying to keep my stress level as low as possible, but that's kinda hard.

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Registered: 04-24-2011
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 4:10pm

Hey, folks.

Well, my marriage came on the brink of ending this week. Wow, it's been a real rollercoaster ride. But thank God my hubby has chosen to stick by me and our baby. I am....SOOOOOO thrilled about that (but keeping my cool. Still don't wanna pressure him). We went to the doc's appointment today. Tried not to be nervous, but couldn't help it. Do did a pap smear (a really uncool examination, but anyway...) and I'll get back the results in 3 weeks - which is the time for my second visit. Doc says I need to get an ultrasound to confirm how far along I am, so I've scheduled that for Monday.

Hubby seems ok, but there's no telling really what's going on inside his brain. I'm just taking things one day at a time and praying that things stay well between us:smileyhappy:.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 5:05pm
I'm glad that he's being better about it :) Let us know how the ultrasound goes, sending you lots of P&PTs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 5:16pm
Thanks, Melissa. It's like Mount Everest has been tossed off my shoulders. Hey, what's P&PTs?
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 9:39am
It stands for prayers & positive thoughts :) Some boards are big into abbreviations, here's a list if you ever need a cheat sheet: http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Message-Board-Help/Common-Board-Acronyms/m-p/116623193#U116623193

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 9:41am
Thanks a lot :-)

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