Should I just have an "oops"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Should I just have an "oops"?
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 1:55pm

My husband is still being a bonehead when it comes to this baby thing.   I actually think he's fine with the idea when we aren't actively trying, but then gets scared when it becomes more of a reality.  I'm thinking of just having an "oops" baby, not tell him that I'm ovulating and don't use any protection.  He'll never know and accidental pregnancies happen all the time.  He might be shocked at first, but I'm sure he'll come around.  It's about time he grew up anyways and stopped being the child in the house.    Am I the only one that's thought of doing this? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
I'm sure lots of women have not only thought about it but actually have done so. I think it could destroy all trust in a relationship, though, so I wouldn't risk assuming my husband believes it was an oops. ;-) Plus, there are so many other ways to help him get ready. Have you been able to find out what's driving his stubborness? Once you find out the real reason (beyond the vague "just not ready"), you will be in a better position to help him get over his concerns. He also needs to take your life goals and dreams into consideration - just like you'd be doing for him by skipping the fake oops. *Hugs*

- JM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2009
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 4:24pm

I too have thought about having an "oops" moment. DH has said many times after our third he doesn't want anymore kids. We had two girls, and then finally had our boy. So he really doesn't have a reason to want more kids. I haven't expressed the fact that I want another because he always says when we are at a family function "Oh no, we are done. That is it, no more for me". So, I am hesitant to bring it up since he claims I talked him into the last two.

I recently stopped taking my Nuva Ring, and I told him that I stopped. I told him since I am only 29, and probably will be on hormones for another 10-15 years, I don't want to be on BC anymore. Anyway I too have thought maybe I will just have a slip up moment, but I would feel really guilty.

I had my first ovulation recently, and just told him to use a condom, but he doesn't really like to finish with them, and asked if he could take it off. I told him "No", but then gave in after awhile. So I am hoping that I am already PG, but at least I could say I tried to avoid it. LOL

Hope you both get to have another little one. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007

Nope! DH is still undecided about #3, but I am ready. I know if I got pregnant he would be happy and it would be an easy thing to do. I think I would feel very guilty afterwards and couldn't do that to him.


DD 2/8/10

DS 9/12/11

Surprise due 12/25/13