Your Age vs. Being Ready?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Your Age vs. Being Ready?
6
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 3:18pm

Most people want to make sure that they start a family at the best time for them, with a stable career, a house with plenty of room for a family, and you've accomplished the tasks you wanted to do before having a baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 11:10pm
I'm 35 and not ready yet. I don't feel any pressure from family nor my husband (he has been ready since we got married a year and a half ago). We decided to try at the end of this year, so probably December. I'll be 36 in a few months but I'm still not worried. If we can conceive, great, if not, maybe we will adopt. Being a mother will not make or break or define who I am. We hope to have kids, but we will still have whole lives if we do not. I'm not even going to read the entire article. As my Mom wisely suggests to me in life, "don't borrow trouble". I'm not ignorant of my age, but I can't turn back the time nor can I force myself to feel ready when I am not!
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 12:25pm

That's a really good way to handle it, it sounds like you are in a really great place emotionally to handle whatever happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 12:07am
Thanks I just finally got to this place of being fine with being me about it. I used to want to want to have kids just to be "normal". But I finally just owned that I don't feel ready yet and it will be no good to force it. Was never sure if I wanted kids, I realize now I do, but I am still not in a rush. It is fine either way! We only get to live this life once so I'm not planning to ruminate on the what ifs. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Sun, 01-22-2012 - 10:50am

I'm new here, and I'm here because I AM ready to start trying. I'm 34, turning 35 in the fall. Realistically, I could be 35, 36, or beyond when we conceive our first child. In my case, I waited because I wanted to find the right partner. We met when I was 33, got engaged less than a year later, married 6 months after that, and now we've been married for 5 months and I'm well aware that it's only going to get harder to conceive from this point forward. It would've been wonderful if I'd met him 10 years ago, or 5 years ago even, but this is the time we have together now, so we're going to try to make the most of it.

I'd always thought that I'd want more time in my marriage before conceiving a child, but now that I'm actually in the situation, I don't think it's needed. First off, we were already in our 30s when we met, so we had that time to establish our lives and careers beforehand. Secondly, we're both at the phase in our lives where we're ready to be parents. Thirdly, most of our friends are married with kids, so it's not like we'll be sitting at home while everyone else is out late living it up. In other words, we won't be "missing out" on anything (not that we're big partiers to begin with!)

My hope is that we'll conceive relatively smoothly and have our kids within a few years of one another, and that our parents will be young and healthy enough to have that grandparent experience. I grew up having my grandmother living right downstairs and I am looking forward to my mother and father being there for my kids too. That was one of my biggest fears about waiting so long to get married and pregnant, that my parents wouldn't live to see it happen. Knock on wood, hopefully things will work out!

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 12:00pm
I just wanted to wish you lots of luck with trying to conceive, I hope that it happens quickly for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 6:51pm

Thanks! (-: