New here and scared...
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|Wed, 06-16-2010 - 9:05pm|
I hang out all over the iVillage message boards, and I've been lurking here since DH and I started talking about TTC #3. We have 2 DS's ages 4 and 21 months.
The reason for this post is that we are thinking (almost positive) that #3 will be our last. And of course, we want a girl. I want one so badly that I am actually afraid to start TTC, for fear that we will have another boy. I have tried to convince myself that I would be happy with whatever we had, but the more I think about it, the more unsure I am. It doesn't help that my SIL just found out her first baby is a girl, plus I have several co-workers and friends who are having girls soon, too. My mother had four girls, and ached for a little boy for as long as I can remember. She loved all of us girls more than anything, but we knew she always wanted a boy. I'm just so afraid that I won't be happy unless I have a girl.
I've about read many of the swaying methods and I just don't know if I buy into any of it. I am kind of under the belief that it is a 50/50 chance, luck of the draw, nature's choice, etc. no matter what you do. And I have never been very good at tracking ovulation other than counting days and guessing. So I don't think I would even be able to stick to any of the swaying methods.
It's not that I don't love my boys. I wanted boys, mostly because I never had any brothers and was hoping to have the experience of raising a boy that my mom never had. I would feel the same way if we had two girls, I would want a boy so badly. It's just a matter of experiencing both sides of the coin I guess. I only have one niece who lives an hour away and I haven't been able to be a big part of her life, and my SIL and I are not close either, so I can't see being very close to the niece that will be born later this year either. It also doesn't help that my DH's side of the family told me I "better have a girl next" and that they weren't even all that excited when DS #2 was born. *sigh*
It is driving me crazy already and I'm not even pregnant yet. I definitely want one more child, I just need to know that I can handle the disappointment if we find out its another boy. I considered NOT finding out the sex when we do get pregnant, but I've read that that is not a good idea, because you need time to get over the disappointment if you aren't having the sex you hoped for. Thanks for listening if you got this far...any advice would be welcome.